The entire U.S. is in the midst of season finale time on television. All the buzz is about the winners of American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and Survivor. People get all worked up about Bachelor/Bachelorette, Real Housewives, Jersey Shore, and countless other "Reality" shows. I, for one, am not a reality t.v. lover. I will admit that I watch the last few weeks of American Idol, but that is about it. It doesn't entice me all that much to watch other people live their lives. I like to focus on living my own!
We have all become so preoccupied with media that we no longer know what is real versus what is reality. Not one of those shows accurately portrays the lives of the people involved. We aren't there behind the scenes or in the editing room. Real life is not full of one-liners, cat fights, and an endless stream of barely clothed people strutting around. Real people have real issues like paying the bills not deciding upon what club to go to!
I know that reality television is an escape from our own realities...oh, the irony of that one. But, wouldn't it be great if we spent the time devoted to watching our "idiot boxes" (my mom's word for the tv) to spending time with loved ones, reading a good book, excercising, or growing ourselves spiritually. What if we looked at these reality shows as examples of how not to live our lives instead of making those lifestyles our goal?
Reality tv is not real...it won't pay the bills or make us better people. Occasionally we may learn something and we'll be entertained in the process, but are the lessons learned valuable ones? I feel that we would be better off sitting in silence. We could focus on what really matters like enjoying the company of friends and family, finding out what really interests us in life, mapping out goals for our future, or bettering ourselves in some way.
Reality isn't reality anymore...isn't it time we figured out what really is real in our lives, embrace it, and do our best to enjoy it and make ourselves better human beings? One of my favorite tv shows ended yesterday, "Oprah". Her parting words were those of encouragement to find out who we are and go for it! How awesome is that...figuring out who "you" are, not watching other people be "them"????
God Bless,
Tammy
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
5-18-2011...The Dreaded "R" Word
Most of us spend our childhoods yearning for the day that we would be grown-ups. We were in awe of what appeared to be freedoms that almost seemed unobtainable: driving, seeing R-rated movies without an adult, voting, college, having our own homes, and much more. What we were never told is what is feels like to have a dreaded "R" word lurking in the future...a REUNION!!!!
June 7, 1996 I graduated from Christian County High School. Ten years later we had our first class reunion. We went all out: big room at the Holiday Inn, DJ, food galore, decorations, the whole shebang. It was a lot of fun, but since I was into all the planning I didn't really have time to worry about appearances. Oh, I don't mean what my hair looked like or if I had changed that much. I mean the dreaded "what do they think of me now" appearance. You know what I mean..."can you believe she is still working at Wal-Mart" or "I really thought he/she would really be something by now". My favorites, "look at his receding hairline" and "wow, she still isnt' married!"
As my 15th reunion appoaches this summer my "appearance" is weighing more heavily on my mind. I am still part of the planning committee, but this year we aren't going all out. I don't know if it's wisdom with age or lack of spirit, but we just don't see a need for all the bells and whistles. I am grateful of that, but on the other hand that leaves me out in the open for people to really see me. I am still searching for those things I wanted at 18, a husband, a career I love, kids...all are still unobtained. Not that I define myself by what I do or don't have, but sometimes others do.
I suppose I am giving myself too much credit. There are probably only a handful of people who actually care one way or another where I am at right now in my life. I guess I put the most pressure on myself. There are certain milestones in life that you assume you will achieve by certain times. None of those I had in mind have come to fruition. Oh well, life goes on. There's nothing I can do about any of that in the next month and a half before the CCHS 15 year reunion rolls around. They'll just have to take me as I am and I will just have to be okay with that.
June 7, 1996 I graduated from Christian County High School. Ten years later we had our first class reunion. We went all out: big room at the Holiday Inn, DJ, food galore, decorations, the whole shebang. It was a lot of fun, but since I was into all the planning I didn't really have time to worry about appearances. Oh, I don't mean what my hair looked like or if I had changed that much. I mean the dreaded "what do they think of me now" appearance. You know what I mean..."can you believe she is still working at Wal-Mart" or "I really thought he/she would really be something by now". My favorites, "look at his receding hairline" and "wow, she still isnt' married!"
As my 15th reunion appoaches this summer my "appearance" is weighing more heavily on my mind. I am still part of the planning committee, but this year we aren't going all out. I don't know if it's wisdom with age or lack of spirit, but we just don't see a need for all the bells and whistles. I am grateful of that, but on the other hand that leaves me out in the open for people to really see me. I am still searching for those things I wanted at 18, a husband, a career I love, kids...all are still unobtained. Not that I define myself by what I do or don't have, but sometimes others do.
I suppose I am giving myself too much credit. There are probably only a handful of people who actually care one way or another where I am at right now in my life. I guess I put the most pressure on myself. There are certain milestones in life that you assume you will achieve by certain times. None of those I had in mind have come to fruition. Oh well, life goes on. There's nothing I can do about any of that in the next month and a half before the CCHS 15 year reunion rolls around. They'll just have to take me as I am and I will just have to be okay with that.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
5-4-2011...Accepting Change
The world is full of changes. Some occur on a daily basis such as our clothes, the day of the week, and our moods. Other changes happen over a period of time like the graying of our hair or our maturity. Often changes come unexpectedly and quickly like the loss of a loved one, a change in jobs, or crisis that completely throws us for a loop. The key to surviving any change is the acceptance of it.
We tend to feel as if we have complete and utter control of our lives which is absolutely ludicrous. The thought that we can make things happen in one way or another is only feasible with the smallest parts of our lives: what we wear, how we cut our hair, what we eat for dinner to name a few. Mostly though our lives are full of things we cannot bend to our every whim.
This is one of the hardest things to accept in life. We have to relinquish our perception of control. The key is becoming adept at rolling with the punches and making the best of the situations in our lives. Sometimes, we must admit defeat and move on when the opportunity presents itself. Well, admitting defeat can mean failure and that isn't the case. You haven't failed most of the time. Things just sometimes don't work out. It is imperative to embrace the belief that all experiences are for our growth...some will teach us positive lessons, others will remind us that we are not perfect.
When new opportunities are placed in your path I feel that if they are meant to be all the necessary components come together seamlessly. You have to pray hard for your intended path to be made clear and when it is lit up in front of you be willing to go for it. Though it may be scary, uncertain, and a shift from your "normal" if may very well be the blessing you've waited so long for.
Change can be slow, swift, expected, or world-altering. Change can be good or bad. Change can be sought out or thrust upon us. The only constant in change is that it will occur. Ready or not, here it comes. Be ready to deal with whatever may come. Trust yourself to make the right decisions. Mainly trust in the Lord to do what is best for you...
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
God Bless,
Tammy
We tend to feel as if we have complete and utter control of our lives which is absolutely ludicrous. The thought that we can make things happen in one way or another is only feasible with the smallest parts of our lives: what we wear, how we cut our hair, what we eat for dinner to name a few. Mostly though our lives are full of things we cannot bend to our every whim.
This is one of the hardest things to accept in life. We have to relinquish our perception of control. The key is becoming adept at rolling with the punches and making the best of the situations in our lives. Sometimes, we must admit defeat and move on when the opportunity presents itself. Well, admitting defeat can mean failure and that isn't the case. You haven't failed most of the time. Things just sometimes don't work out. It is imperative to embrace the belief that all experiences are for our growth...some will teach us positive lessons, others will remind us that we are not perfect.
When new opportunities are placed in your path I feel that if they are meant to be all the necessary components come together seamlessly. You have to pray hard for your intended path to be made clear and when it is lit up in front of you be willing to go for it. Though it may be scary, uncertain, and a shift from your "normal" if may very well be the blessing you've waited so long for.
Change can be slow, swift, expected, or world-altering. Change can be good or bad. Change can be sought out or thrust upon us. The only constant in change is that it will occur. Ready or not, here it comes. Be ready to deal with whatever may come. Trust yourself to make the right decisions. Mainly trust in the Lord to do what is best for you...
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
4-26-2011...Talk, talk, talk
One thing that no one will ever say about me is, "she sure is a wallflower who never speaks to anyone." Talking is one of my forte's. We have a long history together...the only time it has ever gotten me into trouble was at school. I wasn't a bad kid. I was actually one of the those teacher pleasing children (probably because my dad was an educator). The one and only thing to ever land me on the "wall" for 5 minutes during recess was my motor mouth. Honestly, it happened quite frequently...LOL.
My talking skills have made it easy for me to give speeches, teach, and most importantly meet new people. Ask anyone...give me 5 minutes and you'll more than likely know my entire life story! Some people may view this as a character flaw, but I see it like this: I never meet a stranger. Oh, I don't really tell everyone everything about me. I will talk to anyone though. Whether it be about religion, the weather, the state of public schools, or the newest movie I just saw I will freely engage in conversation with someone.
My talking skill has been a definite plus as I have dealt with the public for the past 6 1/2 years of running my business. I truly hope that anyone who walks through my front doors leaves feeling as if they made a new friend. I do my best to remember names and what our discussions are about. Not to ensure a return customer or a bigger sale the next time...I simply want people to know that they matter.
This twirling dirt clod we inhabit moves at such a great pace that we leave little time to actually get to know anyone. We are in such a hurry all the time and most people have their phones surgically attached to their bodies to ensure they stay in touch with email, itunes, facebook, and texting. What ever happened to sitting on the front porch with a glass of tea and talking the afternoon away? Maybe it's the Southerner in me (well, Mason Dixon Line for all technical purposes), but that is my idea of a great afternoon!
I wish that I could somehow pass along my skills to others. If we would all take the time to actually talk to each other a lot of issues would cease to exist in my opinion. How awesome would it be to sit across the table from your family and engage in conversation during a meal or take a long walk on a Friday night instead of rushing from work, to dinner, and to a movie where you sit next to someone for 2 hours and never utter a word. What if we unplugged our phones, turned off our cells, pressed the OFF button on our computers, and refrained from texting and actually, wait for it...talked with people face to face. Liberating idea isn't it!?!?
One day, I hope the world catches up with my way of thinking. I truly appreciate technology and living the American Dream, but not when they are to the detriment of mankind. We need to stop the rat race, talk to each other, and share our lives. I think we could all be happier individuals if we did :)
God Bless,
Tammy
My talking skills have made it easy for me to give speeches, teach, and most importantly meet new people. Ask anyone...give me 5 minutes and you'll more than likely know my entire life story! Some people may view this as a character flaw, but I see it like this: I never meet a stranger. Oh, I don't really tell everyone everything about me. I will talk to anyone though. Whether it be about religion, the weather, the state of public schools, or the newest movie I just saw I will freely engage in conversation with someone.
My talking skill has been a definite plus as I have dealt with the public for the past 6 1/2 years of running my business. I truly hope that anyone who walks through my front doors leaves feeling as if they made a new friend. I do my best to remember names and what our discussions are about. Not to ensure a return customer or a bigger sale the next time...I simply want people to know that they matter.
This twirling dirt clod we inhabit moves at such a great pace that we leave little time to actually get to know anyone. We are in such a hurry all the time and most people have their phones surgically attached to their bodies to ensure they stay in touch with email, itunes, facebook, and texting. What ever happened to sitting on the front porch with a glass of tea and talking the afternoon away? Maybe it's the Southerner in me (well, Mason Dixon Line for all technical purposes), but that is my idea of a great afternoon!
I wish that I could somehow pass along my skills to others. If we would all take the time to actually talk to each other a lot of issues would cease to exist in my opinion. How awesome would it be to sit across the table from your family and engage in conversation during a meal or take a long walk on a Friday night instead of rushing from work, to dinner, and to a movie where you sit next to someone for 2 hours and never utter a word. What if we unplugged our phones, turned off our cells, pressed the OFF button on our computers, and refrained from texting and actually, wait for it...talked with people face to face. Liberating idea isn't it!?!?
One day, I hope the world catches up with my way of thinking. I truly appreciate technology and living the American Dream, but not when they are to the detriment of mankind. We need to stop the rat race, talk to each other, and share our lives. I think we could all be happier individuals if we did :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Friday, April 22, 2011
4-22-11...Good Friday :)
Having grown up in a Disciples of Christ church we followed a rather extensive liturgical calendar. Advent, Pentecost, Lent, etc. Every possible religious holiday was observed such as Christmas, Palm Sunday, Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter, and so on. I will admit that until I was older I didn't understand a lot of those days...especially Good Friday. What exactly was good about Jesus being crucified on the cross???
Well, as I have grown older I have garnered understanding and appreciation for labeling the Friday before Easter as Good Friday. Actually, Great Friday may be an even better name for it! Although Jesus died that day, he died for us! What greater thing has ever been done??? God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to teach us and pay the ultimate price for us. That was absolutely a good day, however tragic the story may be.
To honor this sacrifice we should all be living the best lives we can. Following the Word of God. Doing our very best to live up to the price that was paid for us. It isn't easy though. Being human is such a let down at times especially when we screw up. Our hope lies in the love of our Father! A friend shared a song by Jason Crabb on Facebook the other day that sums up what being a Christian is all about. I absolutely love it...it is "Sometimes I Cry": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE0Gb28MF4c&feature=share
It is an absolutely beautifully written heartfelt wonderfully moving song! (I think I got enough adjectives in there...LOL) Sometimes we fall down, sometimes we cry, but each and every moment of the day we are held by our Lord and Savior...how awesome is that!?!? We are simply human beings doing the best we can to honor God, love one another, and be witnesses to the Word. That is what Good Friday is all about...God having faith in us. Faith that we are worth the sacrifice made for us.
God Bless,
Tammy
Well, as I have grown older I have garnered understanding and appreciation for labeling the Friday before Easter as Good Friday. Actually, Great Friday may be an even better name for it! Although Jesus died that day, he died for us! What greater thing has ever been done??? God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to teach us and pay the ultimate price for us. That was absolutely a good day, however tragic the story may be.
To honor this sacrifice we should all be living the best lives we can. Following the Word of God. Doing our very best to live up to the price that was paid for us. It isn't easy though. Being human is such a let down at times especially when we screw up. Our hope lies in the love of our Father! A friend shared a song by Jason Crabb on Facebook the other day that sums up what being a Christian is all about. I absolutely love it...it is "Sometimes I Cry": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE0Gb28MF4c&feature=share
It is an absolutely beautifully written heartfelt wonderfully moving song! (I think I got enough adjectives in there...LOL) Sometimes we fall down, sometimes we cry, but each and every moment of the day we are held by our Lord and Savior...how awesome is that!?!? We are simply human beings doing the best we can to honor God, love one another, and be witnesses to the Word. That is what Good Friday is all about...God having faith in us. Faith that we are worth the sacrifice made for us.
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
EXPECTATIONS
Most quarrels in life come down to one thing...someone fell short of your expectations or you of theirs. The entire argument could have been avoided had the expectations been made clear right up front. A simple conversation could keep a marriage from falling apart, put a stop to relatives bickering over only the Lord knows what, or something as simple as telling the waitress right up front to "please hold the pickles."
Expectations can be great, sometimes they must be lowered, but they must always be made known. This is the only fair thing to do as a human being. How can you fault someone for not doing what you expected them to if you do not tell them what you expect from them to begin with????????? Sounds confusing I know and you may even think it's trivial or a no-brainer. Well, you're wrong...sorry, but you are.
We fault people each and every day because they don't wear their hair a certain way, they don't walk the way you walk, they don't pray the way you pray, or they don't come visit you regularly. Well, do you visit them? Have you ever asked them over? Did you say to them, "please come visit me...I really need a friend right now?"
Tell people exactly what you expect from them. Keep in mind though, we all make mistakes. There isn't a single soul on this planet that is perfect. WE WILL MESS UP!!!! We won't do it maliciously. We'll try not to do it often, but it is going to happen. There is a 100% chance this is going to happen if we don't tell others what we expect from them.
So, before you go judging others around you and holding it against them that they screwed up royally think to yourself: did I tell them what I hoped they would do, did they do this to hurt me, is what they did or didn't do really all that bad, is being mad at them worth it???? Stop. Think. Calm down. Then speak. If we all took the time to do those things blood pressures would lower, friendships would stay on course, time wouldn't be wasted on resentment, and we may just find ourselves learning how to communicate with another like grown adults and not hot-headed 4 year olds who just had someone take our shovel in the sandbox.
God Bless,
Tammy
Expectations can be great, sometimes they must be lowered, but they must always be made known. This is the only fair thing to do as a human being. How can you fault someone for not doing what you expected them to if you do not tell them what you expect from them to begin with????????? Sounds confusing I know and you may even think it's trivial or a no-brainer. Well, you're wrong...sorry, but you are.
We fault people each and every day because they don't wear their hair a certain way, they don't walk the way you walk, they don't pray the way you pray, or they don't come visit you regularly. Well, do you visit them? Have you ever asked them over? Did you say to them, "please come visit me...I really need a friend right now?"
Tell people exactly what you expect from them. Keep in mind though, we all make mistakes. There isn't a single soul on this planet that is perfect. WE WILL MESS UP!!!! We won't do it maliciously. We'll try not to do it often, but it is going to happen. There is a 100% chance this is going to happen if we don't tell others what we expect from them.
So, before you go judging others around you and holding it against them that they screwed up royally think to yourself: did I tell them what I hoped they would do, did they do this to hurt me, is what they did or didn't do really all that bad, is being mad at them worth it???? Stop. Think. Calm down. Then speak. If we all took the time to do those things blood pressures would lower, friendships would stay on course, time wouldn't be wasted on resentment, and we may just find ourselves learning how to communicate with another like grown adults and not hot-headed 4 year olds who just had someone take our shovel in the sandbox.
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
4-11-11...Lots on my mind
It has been almost two weeks since I last submitted to the blog...those two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. There have sadly been more downs than ups, but I continue to trudge along. What other choice do you really have? You can't simply crawl under the nearest rock and hibernate indefinitely!
The smallest of things have kept my head above water: remembering that others have things worse than I do, the simple pleasures like ice cream with friends, and the unexpected and kind words of others. The last of these has made the biggest impact on my outlook on things. Those words helped me to know that even if I feel like I am falling short in life there are others who feel that I have greatly touched theirs. What a tremendous blessing!
My encounters have been varied: a longtime friend letting me know that I am special to them, another longtime friend reminding me of a time that I reached out with a letter during the loss of their child that they still have 8 years later and letting me know that they pray for me regularly to be blessed with a husband and children, a high school acquaintance that I became reacquainted with this Fall during a tumultuous time in their life who expressed gratitude for my being there as a sounding board and friend, and a random message from someone I wasn't close to at all in high school telling me they used to have a crush on me and would like to go to dinner sometime.
Each encounter was very different. A few touched my heart. All made me see that even when I feel like a phenomenal underachiever there are people out there whose lives I have touched. In all honesty I feel a bit bad for being down after getting their messages. So, I took their correspondence as a kick-start to "putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it."
I could choose to stay in my doldrums or I can reach out to others and put a smile on their face like these friends did for me.
I chose the later! I have spent the past week writing letters to some of my friends and loved ones. Most have simply been "Hi, how are you?" letters, but a few of them I dug a little deeper on. I am not the best person when it comes to the mushy, ooey-gooey of relationships with my friends. I am not accustomed to showing my affection especially through words. So, it has been a bit of a challenge to share my feelings, but I am glad that I have. You never know who needs a pick-me-up just as bad as you do.
So, if you think someone knows how you feel about them...quit assuming! You know what they say about that...pick up the phone, pick up a pen, send an email or text...share your feelings :) Your doing so will be an unexpected blessing to those whom you reach out to!
God Bless,
Tammy
The smallest of things have kept my head above water: remembering that others have things worse than I do, the simple pleasures like ice cream with friends, and the unexpected and kind words of others. The last of these has made the biggest impact on my outlook on things. Those words helped me to know that even if I feel like I am falling short in life there are others who feel that I have greatly touched theirs. What a tremendous blessing!
My encounters have been varied: a longtime friend letting me know that I am special to them, another longtime friend reminding me of a time that I reached out with a letter during the loss of their child that they still have 8 years later and letting me know that they pray for me regularly to be blessed with a husband and children, a high school acquaintance that I became reacquainted with this Fall during a tumultuous time in their life who expressed gratitude for my being there as a sounding board and friend, and a random message from someone I wasn't close to at all in high school telling me they used to have a crush on me and would like to go to dinner sometime.
Each encounter was very different. A few touched my heart. All made me see that even when I feel like a phenomenal underachiever there are people out there whose lives I have touched. In all honesty I feel a bit bad for being down after getting their messages. So, I took their correspondence as a kick-start to "putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it."
I could choose to stay in my doldrums or I can reach out to others and put a smile on their face like these friends did for me.
I chose the later! I have spent the past week writing letters to some of my friends and loved ones. Most have simply been "Hi, how are you?" letters, but a few of them I dug a little deeper on. I am not the best person when it comes to the mushy, ooey-gooey of relationships with my friends. I am not accustomed to showing my affection especially through words. So, it has been a bit of a challenge to share my feelings, but I am glad that I have. You never know who needs a pick-me-up just as bad as you do.
So, if you think someone knows how you feel about them...quit assuming! You know what they say about that...pick up the phone, pick up a pen, send an email or text...share your feelings :) Your doing so will be an unexpected blessing to those whom you reach out to!
God Bless,
Tammy
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