Today has gone by rather quickly for a Monday! I haven't been particularly busy at work, but I have been busy all day...doing my Sunday school lesson, reading my daily devotional, being in prayer for myself and others, studying my "Lose it for Life" text, and taking care of regular work issues. Before I even realized it I had spent the majority of my day in the Word. Reading passages and delving into their deeper meanings and how they play a role in my life.
God's love for us is the one and only consistency in life! I have fallen short in my duties as a friend/loved one at times. Relationships are not one sided. It is up to us to do our part in maintaining and strengthening our relationship with the Lord. He is our best friend! If our earthly "best friends" didn't talk to us daily or visit with us we would start to think that they aren't our friends at all. What must the Lord think of us when we don't take the time to visit with Him in prayer or spend time reading His Word????
Some people may feel that they don't have the right due to their sin. That is where they are absolutely WRONG! That is the perfect time to go to the Lord. Seek his forgiveness and make an effort to correct the sinful acts and misdeeds that you have committed. All you have to do ask His forgiveness and it will be granted! So, ask away, but be ready for His love to fill you up to overflowing. Be ready to share that love with others. You'll never know anything else like it :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Monday, January 31, 2011
Day 11-13
What an eventful weekend! Family and friends gathered to share in the joy of my cousin and her new husband. It was so great getting to see them together and to show them the love our family and friends have for them as they embark on their new journey together!
It was also a great weekend of worship! It is so refreshing to be at a church that is serving my spiritual needs and giving me the opportunity to grow in Christ. I have never understood those who do not have a church home and don't actively seek one out. There are days that I would love nothing more than to stay curled up under my covers and simply do nothing on my one day off from work. Funny though, once I get there I can't imagine being anywhere else! What a gift of the spirit :)
God Bless,
Tammy
It was also a great weekend of worship! It is so refreshing to be at a church that is serving my spiritual needs and giving me the opportunity to grow in Christ. I have never understood those who do not have a church home and don't actively seek one out. There are days that I would love nothing more than to stay curled up under my covers and simply do nothing on my one day off from work. Funny though, once I get there I can't imagine being anywhere else! What a gift of the spirit :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Days 9/10
The past couple of days have brought a bit of new insight into a couple of areas:
First, I found out that a job I was really hoping for was given to someone else. It was nice to get an explanation from the person who did the hiring as to why I wasn't chosen. They happen to be a long time friend of mine whom I have been doing business with over the course of running my store. The explanation was this: they were unsure that the job was really something I wanted vs. being a way to get out working my store all the time. I guess I didn't do a great job at letting them know just how interested I was. However, they let me know that should another position open up later this year that it is mine as long as I am still interested. Kind of a bummer, but I suppose it is for the best. That door wasn't meant to open which means another was is. They also pointed out that part of my inability to find a focus for my future lies in the fact that I have many interests and am very intelligent. It was really nice to have someone tell me that I can't find direction because I am capable of doing so many things. :) I hadn't ever looked at my situation from that prospective.
Secondly, we had our first weigh in at "Lose it for Life" tonight and I have lost 5 pounds in just 4 days! :) What a blessing! It reaffirms that I can indeed successfully follow this plan and that it isn't that hard to do. I am always concerned that diets won't work and I tend to easily tire of them. Well, so far so good! I should be able to continue on with enthusiasm. There are many weeks/months ahead and lots more work to do, but I am looking forward to it! :)
So, as I look to the future there are still unanswered questions, goals to reach, and lessons to learn about myself and many other things. I am only at the beginning of my journey and am looking forward to what all be will revealed as I travel down this self imposed road of self discovery, growth, and seeking the spirit.
God Bless,
Tammy
First, I found out that a job I was really hoping for was given to someone else. It was nice to get an explanation from the person who did the hiring as to why I wasn't chosen. They happen to be a long time friend of mine whom I have been doing business with over the course of running my store. The explanation was this: they were unsure that the job was really something I wanted vs. being a way to get out working my store all the time. I guess I didn't do a great job at letting them know just how interested I was. However, they let me know that should another position open up later this year that it is mine as long as I am still interested. Kind of a bummer, but I suppose it is for the best. That door wasn't meant to open which means another was is. They also pointed out that part of my inability to find a focus for my future lies in the fact that I have many interests and am very intelligent. It was really nice to have someone tell me that I can't find direction because I am capable of doing so many things. :) I hadn't ever looked at my situation from that prospective.
Secondly, we had our first weigh in at "Lose it for Life" tonight and I have lost 5 pounds in just 4 days! :) What a blessing! It reaffirms that I can indeed successfully follow this plan and that it isn't that hard to do. I am always concerned that diets won't work and I tend to easily tire of them. Well, so far so good! I should be able to continue on with enthusiasm. There are many weeks/months ahead and lots more work to do, but I am looking forward to it! :)
So, as I look to the future there are still unanswered questions, goals to reach, and lessons to learn about myself and many other things. I am only at the beginning of my journey and am looking forward to what all be will revealed as I travel down this self imposed road of self discovery, growth, and seeking the spirit.
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Day 8
Such a beautiful day in the neighborhood! Well, not really, but every day has it's own kind of beauty. Even in the gloom and rain, possibly even a bit of snow on the way. It does make it hard to find your "happy" when the sun won't shine. Isn't it funny how the weather can affect your outlook on things?
It also makes it difficult to not give in to the overwhelming urge to bundle up, hop under the covers, and take a nap. I am trying really hard to stay focused on my "Lose it For Life" study, weight loss plan, and excerise regimen. Changing into workout clothes and lacing up my tennis shoes to get my walk in for the day is not at the top of my list of things I choose to do today. Hopefully, once I get off of work I will remain motivated to hit the Y and get it over with. I know that I will feel better when I do.
Today's lesson focused on why Americans have such a love affair with food. With millions of overweight/obese citizens it is a pertinent question. Why do we eat so much? Our bodies need a lot less food to exist than what we consume. We should focus on eating to live...not, living to eat! This is what I am trying my best to wrap my brain around. More water, smaller portions, better foods, less takeout, etc, etc.
We should all try our best to be healthy both physically, mentally, and spiritually. There are no quick fixes for any of these. Hard work, determination, and life changes are involved. It would be great to magically snap our fingers and be thin, mentally fit, and full of the spirit. That's just it though...magic is simply not reality. We have grown so accustomed to "easy" that hard work is a foreign concept. Just think about it: we don't have to get up to turn the channel, we can cook dinner in the microwave in 5 minutes or less, we no longer have to watch commercials due to DVR, we can go to one store and get our groceries, buy CDS/DVDS, get our car repaired, landscape our homes, remedy our ailments and much more...Thanks Wal-Mart "said with sarcasm".
Life isn't supposed to be easy. We are supposed to use our brains, build our muscles, work for our paychecks, study the things that interest us, and spend time talking to loved ones. Do you remember when Sunday afternoons used to mean going around to actually visit with people. Iced tea, front porches, and dessert ruled the day...not sporting events, movies, and naps. Oh, to live the simpler life again. I think we would all be better off if we got back to the basics!
Hopefully I am on the right path in "fixing" a few areas where I have become lazy. I want to be a well rounded person...well figuratively. LOL! I want to not be well rounded physically :) All in hopes that I an become the person I want to be and that God has planned for me!
God Bless,
Tammy
It also makes it difficult to not give in to the overwhelming urge to bundle up, hop under the covers, and take a nap. I am trying really hard to stay focused on my "Lose it For Life" study, weight loss plan, and excerise regimen. Changing into workout clothes and lacing up my tennis shoes to get my walk in for the day is not at the top of my list of things I choose to do today. Hopefully, once I get off of work I will remain motivated to hit the Y and get it over with. I know that I will feel better when I do.
Today's lesson focused on why Americans have such a love affair with food. With millions of overweight/obese citizens it is a pertinent question. Why do we eat so much? Our bodies need a lot less food to exist than what we consume. We should focus on eating to live...not, living to eat! This is what I am trying my best to wrap my brain around. More water, smaller portions, better foods, less takeout, etc, etc.
We should all try our best to be healthy both physically, mentally, and spiritually. There are no quick fixes for any of these. Hard work, determination, and life changes are involved. It would be great to magically snap our fingers and be thin, mentally fit, and full of the spirit. That's just it though...magic is simply not reality. We have grown so accustomed to "easy" that hard work is a foreign concept. Just think about it: we don't have to get up to turn the channel, we can cook dinner in the microwave in 5 minutes or less, we no longer have to watch commercials due to DVR, we can go to one store and get our groceries, buy CDS/DVDS, get our car repaired, landscape our homes, remedy our ailments and much more...Thanks Wal-Mart "said with sarcasm".
Life isn't supposed to be easy. We are supposed to use our brains, build our muscles, work for our paychecks, study the things that interest us, and spend time talking to loved ones. Do you remember when Sunday afternoons used to mean going around to actually visit with people. Iced tea, front porches, and dessert ruled the day...not sporting events, movies, and naps. Oh, to live the simpler life again. I think we would all be better off if we got back to the basics!
Hopefully I am on the right path in "fixing" a few areas where I have become lazy. I want to be a well rounded person...well figuratively. LOL! I want to not be well rounded physically :) All in hopes that I an become the person I want to be and that God has planned for me!
God Bless,
Tammy
Monday, January 24, 2011
Day 7
I suppose it is about time that I explain the title of my blog: Losing myself to find out who I really am...
One of the most important questions we can ever ask ourselves is, "Who am I?" This is also one of the most difficult to answer. Is who we are a compilation of our personality traits? Is it the sum of all we have/haven't accomplished in our lives? Is it molded by who our family and friends are? Can we truly change if we are unhappy or uncertain of the answer.
I think that all of the above factors play a role in who we are. The great thing is that the answer is completely up to us. We can choose to be told who we are or we can choose to figure it for ourselves. We can change things, keep things the same, add to what we currently are, or clean our slate and start anew. This is the time to lose myself and all preconceived notions about me and figure it all out and make my own rules :)
Being happy with who you are is essential to becoming the person you are meant to be. Without happiness what is there really? This is where I have been struggling for the past few years. I feel as if I have simply been going through the motions of my life. Doing what was I felt was expected of me, being the person that everyone thinks I am. Not that I disagree with some of their assessments, but there is more to me than meets the eye. Even my own eye.
I feel that there are great things in my future if only I can figure out how to get there. That is what this blog and my other avenues of self discovery are all about. Who am I? Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? How do I get there? How long will it take? Have I missed opportunities along the way? Will I get a second chance?
As you can see there are an infinite number of questions and few answers, but I have hope. Hope and faith that the answers are out there. I just have to be willing to hear the answers, read the signs, and take the opportunities that are presented to me. Who will I be? I am not sure of that just yet, but I am definitely looking forward to figuring it out. It will always be an ongoing process, but it's my life. It is up to me to make the most of it. No one else can live it for me!
God Bless,
Tammy
One of the most important questions we can ever ask ourselves is, "Who am I?" This is also one of the most difficult to answer. Is who we are a compilation of our personality traits? Is it the sum of all we have/haven't accomplished in our lives? Is it molded by who our family and friends are? Can we truly change if we are unhappy or uncertain of the answer.
I think that all of the above factors play a role in who we are. The great thing is that the answer is completely up to us. We can choose to be told who we are or we can choose to figure it for ourselves. We can change things, keep things the same, add to what we currently are, or clean our slate and start anew. This is the time to lose myself and all preconceived notions about me and figure it all out and make my own rules :)
Being happy with who you are is essential to becoming the person you are meant to be. Without happiness what is there really? This is where I have been struggling for the past few years. I feel as if I have simply been going through the motions of my life. Doing what was I felt was expected of me, being the person that everyone thinks I am. Not that I disagree with some of their assessments, but there is more to me than meets the eye. Even my own eye.
I feel that there are great things in my future if only I can figure out how to get there. That is what this blog and my other avenues of self discovery are all about. Who am I? Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? How do I get there? How long will it take? Have I missed opportunities along the way? Will I get a second chance?
As you can see there are an infinite number of questions and few answers, but I have hope. Hope and faith that the answers are out there. I just have to be willing to hear the answers, read the signs, and take the opportunities that are presented to me. Who will I be? I am not sure of that just yet, but I am definitely looking forward to figuring it out. It will always be an ongoing process, but it's my life. It is up to me to make the most of it. No one else can live it for me!
God Bless,
Tammy
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Day 6
Part of my self discovery revolves around growing spiritually. I am already doing a few things to work on this: daily devotional, writing out daily prayers, and then today I worked on two new approaches. First, I joined a church group designed to help you lose weight and work on self discovery through a study program. It is a good way to be held accountable since there will be weekly meetings to weigh in...not just on the scale, but on the study issues as well. I am really looking forward to seeing how the next 12 weeks go! :)
Secondly, we did a spiritual gift "inventory" at church tonight. Through a scaling system we evaluated 80 statements, then plugged them into a formula to see what some of our gifts may be. I wasn't all that surprised at the results, but a few of them will definitely give me some things to consider. It is one thing to think you will be good at something and another to truly evaluate where you can best utilize your gifts for the church. There will many mission opportunities this year and I am anxious to see which one(s) the Lord leads me to! Exciting!
I told my Sunday School group today that I feel like I am living inside a tornado. There is so much going on in my head, in my life, and hopefully in my future. As soon as I get a better hold on what's in store and how to plan for it I will feel better. Anxious is probably the best descriptor that I can come up with. Anxious for some peace. Anxious for some change. Anxious for some new beginnings. Anxious for my path to be made clear...at least clearer.
As I go along my journey it is very calming to know that there are people in my corner routing for me. They are there to advise, encourage, humble, listen, be a sounding board, question, and love me. How cool is that? Good thing too because before it is all said and done I know that I am going to need all that and more :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Secondly, we did a spiritual gift "inventory" at church tonight. Through a scaling system we evaluated 80 statements, then plugged them into a formula to see what some of our gifts may be. I wasn't all that surprised at the results, but a few of them will definitely give me some things to consider. It is one thing to think you will be good at something and another to truly evaluate where you can best utilize your gifts for the church. There will many mission opportunities this year and I am anxious to see which one(s) the Lord leads me to! Exciting!
I told my Sunday School group today that I feel like I am living inside a tornado. There is so much going on in my head, in my life, and hopefully in my future. As soon as I get a better hold on what's in store and how to plan for it I will feel better. Anxious is probably the best descriptor that I can come up with. Anxious for some peace. Anxious for some change. Anxious for some new beginnings. Anxious for my path to be made clear...at least clearer.
As I go along my journey it is very calming to know that there are people in my corner routing for me. They are there to advise, encourage, humble, listen, be a sounding board, question, and love me. How cool is that? Good thing too because before it is all said and done I know that I am going to need all that and more :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Day 5
It was such a nice day today. My mom turned 65 today so I took the day off of work to spend with her. We planned out decorations for a shower we are hosting for my cousin who got married, bought the necessary items, had a nice dinner with my dad and brother, and had a good time playing scrabble. She got a bit upset that I didn't let her win :) Sadly, my competitive bone is too strong!
During our day we spent time talking about the business we run together and many other life issues. One of our discussions focused on what I want to do with my life. Last week, the pastor at church gave a sermon on listening to God. Sadly, I don't feel that too many people do that anymore. We spend too much second guessing messages we get because we think, "surely not, that couldn't be what He wants me to do."
Many times over the years I have thought about learning more about the Bible and being a Christian. So much as it has crossed my mind to go to seminary. I wouldn't necessarily want to be a preacher, but possibly an education director (given my undergraduate degree in elementary education) or a chaplain at a nursing facility. I had never voiced this to anyone, but today out of the blue my mom says, "Have you ever thought about going to seminary?" Have I truly? No. Has it crossed my mind? Several times. Is this one of those times that God is talking to me? Am I willing to listen? Hmmmmm......
I got to thinking back over my life and some of the boys/men that I have been drawn to and/or dated. My first blind date when I was 15 is now a preacher, a high school friend and someone that I have always thought a lot of is now a pastor, a lifelong friend works in the ministry, and my one and only serious adult relationship was with an evangelical speaker. Seems to be that I am drawn to people of faith! Does that mean that I have some deeper feeling of wanting to look into serving the church myself? I don't know, but it is something to ponder on :)
As you can see I seem to have issue with finding my true calling: teacher, store owner/operator, some random unknown job yet to be determined, seminary, who knows what else may cross my mind. I hope to have the patience to figure it all out and do what is best for myself and where I can best utilize my spiritual gifts.
God Bless,
Tammy
During our day we spent time talking about the business we run together and many other life issues. One of our discussions focused on what I want to do with my life. Last week, the pastor at church gave a sermon on listening to God. Sadly, I don't feel that too many people do that anymore. We spend too much second guessing messages we get because we think, "surely not, that couldn't be what He wants me to do."
Many times over the years I have thought about learning more about the Bible and being a Christian. So much as it has crossed my mind to go to seminary. I wouldn't necessarily want to be a preacher, but possibly an education director (given my undergraduate degree in elementary education) or a chaplain at a nursing facility. I had never voiced this to anyone, but today out of the blue my mom says, "Have you ever thought about going to seminary?" Have I truly? No. Has it crossed my mind? Several times. Is this one of those times that God is talking to me? Am I willing to listen? Hmmmmm......
I got to thinking back over my life and some of the boys/men that I have been drawn to and/or dated. My first blind date when I was 15 is now a preacher, a high school friend and someone that I have always thought a lot of is now a pastor, a lifelong friend works in the ministry, and my one and only serious adult relationship was with an evangelical speaker. Seems to be that I am drawn to people of faith! Does that mean that I have some deeper feeling of wanting to look into serving the church myself? I don't know, but it is something to ponder on :)
As you can see I seem to have issue with finding my true calling: teacher, store owner/operator, some random unknown job yet to be determined, seminary, who knows what else may cross my mind. I hope to have the patience to figure it all out and do what is best for myself and where I can best utilize my spiritual gifts.
God Bless,
Tammy
Friday, January 21, 2011
Day 4
Birthdays...we each have one a year. This week is a big week for bdays within my friends/family circle. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, Sunday, Monday, and next Friday! Thank goodness everyone doesn't expect gifts or I would be broke :) As I think ahead to my birthday next month I have been struck with a few different thoughts: good grief, am I that old? , what have I done with my life thus far? , wow...I really am not that old at all! ...they run the gammit as you can see.
33...if you asked me at 18 what I would feel like fifteen years later I would have missed my actual life by a few miles. Oh, to be young and naive again! I thought for sure that I would be married with several children my now. I thought I would be doing well financially and live in a nice home in the country somewhere. "The best laid plans of mice and men..."
So, what have I done with my life so far? This is someting that is always on my mind. As I look at my world around me I don't feel that I have accomplished much. I have never been married. I don't have any children. I don't have that house in the country or a big bank account. This weighs heavily on my mind a lot. I want more from my life. I want to feel a sense of accomplishment. I want all of the previously mentioned life milestones...what I have to embrace is that they'll come in time if it's the Lord's will. Until then I need to be satisfied with what I do have.
One of my very best friend's felt compeled a few weeks ago to write me a wonderful and encouraging letter. In it she spoke of the many ways in which she sees me as blessed: I have a college degree (whether I use it or not, no one can take it from me), I took the chance to follow a dream of opening my store, I have many wonderful friends/family members, my friends look to me in times of need becuase they know I will help in whatever way I am able, and I have many kiddos (blood related and not) that love their Aunt Tammy! She wanted me to know that even though I may not have some of the things I truly desire that I do have a lot!
As I read her letter over and over again, I began to realize that I need to find a way out of the pit I am in. I need to realize how great my life already is and will only be enhanced should I get all those things I deem as "missing" in my life. I need to be thankful...period. My focus needs to be on building better relationships. Both with those friends/family members I have now and with those people who are new in my life or that I haven't even met yet. I need to remember that I still have many things left in my life to look forward to.
33...the age Jesus was when he died for us! WOW...in comparison I haven't accomplished a lot :) However, I have many more years ahead of me to make my place in this world. The average person lives to about 80 years or so nowadays...that means I still have nearly 50 years yet to live! So, what I am complaining about? I have a great family, many wonderful friends, a roof over my head, food in my tummy, a great church family, and a loving Lord! Blessed am I :)
What lies ahead only the Lord knows, but when they time is right he will show me the way! Until then, I have to keep on keeping on. I have to work on loving me, loving those around me, learning about myself, learning about life, and seeking the gospel! Lots to do! Lots to do! Good thing I have time on my side to work on it all! 33...BRING IT ON!
God Bless,
Tammy
33...if you asked me at 18 what I would feel like fifteen years later I would have missed my actual life by a few miles. Oh, to be young and naive again! I thought for sure that I would be married with several children my now. I thought I would be doing well financially and live in a nice home in the country somewhere. "The best laid plans of mice and men..."
So, what have I done with my life so far? This is someting that is always on my mind. As I look at my world around me I don't feel that I have accomplished much. I have never been married. I don't have any children. I don't have that house in the country or a big bank account. This weighs heavily on my mind a lot. I want more from my life. I want to feel a sense of accomplishment. I want all of the previously mentioned life milestones...what I have to embrace is that they'll come in time if it's the Lord's will. Until then I need to be satisfied with what I do have.
One of my very best friend's felt compeled a few weeks ago to write me a wonderful and encouraging letter. In it she spoke of the many ways in which she sees me as blessed: I have a college degree (whether I use it or not, no one can take it from me), I took the chance to follow a dream of opening my store, I have many wonderful friends/family members, my friends look to me in times of need becuase they know I will help in whatever way I am able, and I have many kiddos (blood related and not) that love their Aunt Tammy! She wanted me to know that even though I may not have some of the things I truly desire that I do have a lot!
As I read her letter over and over again, I began to realize that I need to find a way out of the pit I am in. I need to realize how great my life already is and will only be enhanced should I get all those things I deem as "missing" in my life. I need to be thankful...period. My focus needs to be on building better relationships. Both with those friends/family members I have now and with those people who are new in my life or that I haven't even met yet. I need to remember that I still have many things left in my life to look forward to.
33...the age Jesus was when he died for us! WOW...in comparison I haven't accomplished a lot :) However, I have many more years ahead of me to make my place in this world. The average person lives to about 80 years or so nowadays...that means I still have nearly 50 years yet to live! So, what I am complaining about? I have a great family, many wonderful friends, a roof over my head, food in my tummy, a great church family, and a loving Lord! Blessed am I :)
What lies ahead only the Lord knows, but when they time is right he will show me the way! Until then, I have to keep on keeping on. I have to work on loving me, loving those around me, learning about myself, learning about life, and seeking the gospel! Lots to do! Lots to do! Good thing I have time on my side to work on it all! 33...BRING IT ON!
God Bless,
Tammy
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Day 3
One of those days when I don't have lots to say...just a ho-hum day that would be better spent napping. Snow falling for the past few hours, chilly temperatures, and the large desire to not be at work are making for a difficult afternoon. I am keeping myself busy though with placing orders, straightening shelves, and paperwork. On top of escaping boredom I am not feeling 100% today. It started last night with a bad back ache and has moved into all my joints :(
Looking forward to starting the new Bible Study/Weight loss program tonight. Well, if it is rescheduled due to the bad weather. I would like to get started on it and get a schedule for work out, diet, and quiet study time worked out.
Thought for the day: to make God happy we really don't have to try so hard...as today's devotional reminded me, Moses told us that as long as we Respect, Follow, Love, Serve, and Obey we are good to go. Some may think these are tall orders, but if you are living the life you ought to be they aren't difficult at all :)
God Bless,
T.
Looking forward to starting the new Bible Study/Weight loss program tonight. Well, if it is rescheduled due to the bad weather. I would like to get started on it and get a schedule for work out, diet, and quiet study time worked out.
Thought for the day: to make God happy we really don't have to try so hard...as today's devotional reminded me, Moses told us that as long as we Respect, Follow, Love, Serve, and Obey we are good to go. Some may think these are tall orders, but if you are living the life you ought to be they aren't difficult at all :)
God Bless,
T.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Day 2
Well, so far so good...2 days in a row. Let's see how many consecutive days I can do this. LOL!
So, yesterday I listed a few of my struggles...today I will talk about what I am doing to remedy these issues!
JOB- I have been reading books, searching the internet, taking online career quizzes, talking with friends, family, and God about it, posting resume on internet, etc. I got my teaching license reinstated (good through September of this year...will be permanent once I finish 9 more Master's hours), but I really don't want to go down that road again. I also interviewed for a position that I would really like to have. It is not like anything I have done in the past, but it has some connection to areas of expertise I have obtained over the past 6 1/2 years of running my business and a lifetime of being an organizational type person. No word yet, but it sounds pretty promising.
WEIGHT- I started back to the Y a month ago, but I still haven't gotten into a weekly groove of 4 or 5 days a week yet. Hopefully that will become a reality starting next week. Tomorrow I begin a weight loss program/Bible study with my parents and others at a local church. Envisioning myself after shedding many much needed to be gone pounds is thoroughly enticing...praying it is the kick start I need as well as a great motiviational and support system!
SPIRITUAL GROWTH- The past 5 months have been a blessing. Finding a place to worship that is welcoming, where those around you are seeking just as you are, that offers ways to grow in faith, and encourages you to be a better Christian is a definite plus. I plan to utilize the people, study sessions, and hopefully numerous mission opportunities offered this year to continue growing in faith :)
BEING SINGLE- well, it isn't like I can go the store and simply pick the best guy for me like a cantaloupe. What I can do is put myself in situations where I may find some suitable possibilities! I also need to make myself more available. I have been afraid of rejection for so long that I tend to close myself off and that needs to be remedied. No, I don't have plans to become a fluzy...just more open to possibility.
Here's to all the possiblities of 2011...may I gain insight, lose weight, find a new career path, and hopefully meet my potential other half!
So, yesterday I listed a few of my struggles...today I will talk about what I am doing to remedy these issues!
JOB- I have been reading books, searching the internet, taking online career quizzes, talking with friends, family, and God about it, posting resume on internet, etc. I got my teaching license reinstated (good through September of this year...will be permanent once I finish 9 more Master's hours), but I really don't want to go down that road again. I also interviewed for a position that I would really like to have. It is not like anything I have done in the past, but it has some connection to areas of expertise I have obtained over the past 6 1/2 years of running my business and a lifetime of being an organizational type person. No word yet, but it sounds pretty promising.
WEIGHT- I started back to the Y a month ago, but I still haven't gotten into a weekly groove of 4 or 5 days a week yet. Hopefully that will become a reality starting next week. Tomorrow I begin a weight loss program/Bible study with my parents and others at a local church. Envisioning myself after shedding many much needed to be gone pounds is thoroughly enticing...praying it is the kick start I need as well as a great motiviational and support system!
SPIRITUAL GROWTH- The past 5 months have been a blessing. Finding a place to worship that is welcoming, where those around you are seeking just as you are, that offers ways to grow in faith, and encourages you to be a better Christian is a definite plus. I plan to utilize the people, study sessions, and hopefully numerous mission opportunities offered this year to continue growing in faith :)
BEING SINGLE- well, it isn't like I can go the store and simply pick the best guy for me like a cantaloupe. What I can do is put myself in situations where I may find some suitable possibilities! I also need to make myself more available. I have been afraid of rejection for so long that I tend to close myself off and that needs to be remedied. No, I don't have plans to become a fluzy...just more open to possibility.
Here's to all the possiblities of 2011...may I gain insight, lose weight, find a new career path, and hopefully meet my potential other half!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Day 1
Losing myself...this is both figurative and literal. I like the person that I am, but I feel that there is room for improvement. I want to really know who I am even if that means losing little bits of who I was, I want to literally lose weight, I want to find my path in life, and most importantly I want to strengthen my relationship with God and find the best ways to use my spiritual gifts to serve Him :)
Here are some of my struggles. I know that some of mine are similar to those others have, some are personal, but all effect my day to day life in some fashion. It is time to stop letting my struggles define who I am and look for ways to combat these struggles and come out a better person on the other side. Life is a journey that doesn't end. Yes, our earthly lives come to an end eventually, but there is so much more after that and I want to be as prepared as I can for what lies ahead...both on Earth and in Heaven.
Struggle Number One: my professional life.
I don't regret leaving the field of teaching to pursue my dream of self-employment. Running my shop for the past 6 1/2 years has been fun, trying, often times infuriating, fulfilling, etc. What it is not: my lifelong ambition. I have been struggling for a few years with the age old question of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Books have been read, charts have been made, prayers have been prayed...still I don't know the answer. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to have been a woman of earlier decades whose professions were limited to stay at home moms, nurses, or school teachers. With so many opportunities out there knowadays making a decision is hard. Hopefully, I may be getting closer to an answer, but some things have to fall into place before I can test the waters!
Struggle Number Two: my weight
Thin people have their issues with self image just as those of us who are overweight do...the difference lies in that the outside world doesn't condemn thin people for being thin. Being overweight carries a public scrutiny with it. You feel as though everyone is talking about you, some rude people actually voice their distain, you can't enjoy simple luxuries like being able to buy that cute dress because most of the time it doesn't come in your size, you have such low self esteem that you "take what you can get" in certain situations (mainly relationship wise), and to top it all off you are prone to bad health. Luckily I haven't fallen victim to all of the afore mentioned scenarios, but I have witnessed them all.
I think that my yo-yo weight is a direct result of losing weight for the wrong reasons: to fit into that cute dress, to avoid ridicule, or in hopes of catching the eye of a potential spouse. I need to do it for me, only me and for my life longevity. Most importantly I need to focus on losing weight so that I can feel good enough about me to do the things that I have always been scared to do: dance in public, flirt with that hot guy at the YMCA, buy that outrageous outfit, lay smack dab in the middle of the beach (not in that out of they way spot where hopefully no one will notice me), sing karaoke every chance I get...the list goes on.
Struggle Number 3: Spiritual "PIT"
Being raised in Kentucky means that I was raised in a church going home. We aren't Bible thumpers, but we are believers and we try to live our lives accordingly. I grew up in a Disciples of Christ church which is similar to Methodist. I grew up not judging other religions as long as they believed in Jesus Christ. It is a very liberal church...one that I have enjoyed, but there has been something missing. During the Fall of last year I started visiting a Singles Sunday school class at a local Baptist church. A good friend from high school is the Associate Pastor and had informed me of the class. That led to my staying for "big church"...yes I still call it that, Sunday night worship, and Wednesday night Bible studies. I am thoroughly enjoying learning the Bible more and delving into issues that I have wanted to know more about, but didn't have the guidance to do before. Will I switch memberships? Yet to be determined, but I am leaning toward yes. I feel at home in the church, I know many people who are members, I have met many great new friends, and that "something is missing" feeling is lessening all the time.
Struggle Number Four: being single
Figuring out that it is okay to be single is a tough acceptance. From the time you are small it is pounded into you that you need to be married to be happy. Do I believe this? Mostly. At least for me. All I have ever wanted was a husband and kids. It just hasn't been in the cards for me yet. Maybe it has nothing to do with me as a person, but more so with how I feel about me. Do I love myself enough to allow someone else to love me? Until I get more of my life figured out (in relation to the other struggles listed) I need to be content with being single. It isn't a condemnation...it simply is. One day, when the Lord is ready, I will find that special someone to go through life with. If my some day doesn't come, I need to know that God loves me and that should be enough...easier said than done.
Are these all my struggles? No, but they are the most pertinent ones. I hope that through reading this you find some peace in knowing that someone else feels the way you do. Someone else deals with what you deal with. Someone else is out there philosophizing over the same things you are. Feel free to email me or leave a comment...if I can help you, you'll probably be helping me at the same time :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Here are some of my struggles. I know that some of mine are similar to those others have, some are personal, but all effect my day to day life in some fashion. It is time to stop letting my struggles define who I am and look for ways to combat these struggles and come out a better person on the other side. Life is a journey that doesn't end. Yes, our earthly lives come to an end eventually, but there is so much more after that and I want to be as prepared as I can for what lies ahead...both on Earth and in Heaven.
Struggle Number One: my professional life.
I don't regret leaving the field of teaching to pursue my dream of self-employment. Running my shop for the past 6 1/2 years has been fun, trying, often times infuriating, fulfilling, etc. What it is not: my lifelong ambition. I have been struggling for a few years with the age old question of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Books have been read, charts have been made, prayers have been prayed...still I don't know the answer. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to have been a woman of earlier decades whose professions were limited to stay at home moms, nurses, or school teachers. With so many opportunities out there knowadays making a decision is hard. Hopefully, I may be getting closer to an answer, but some things have to fall into place before I can test the waters!
Struggle Number Two: my weight
Thin people have their issues with self image just as those of us who are overweight do...the difference lies in that the outside world doesn't condemn thin people for being thin. Being overweight carries a public scrutiny with it. You feel as though everyone is talking about you, some rude people actually voice their distain, you can't enjoy simple luxuries like being able to buy that cute dress because most of the time it doesn't come in your size, you have such low self esteem that you "take what you can get" in certain situations (mainly relationship wise), and to top it all off you are prone to bad health. Luckily I haven't fallen victim to all of the afore mentioned scenarios, but I have witnessed them all.
I think that my yo-yo weight is a direct result of losing weight for the wrong reasons: to fit into that cute dress, to avoid ridicule, or in hopes of catching the eye of a potential spouse. I need to do it for me, only me and for my life longevity. Most importantly I need to focus on losing weight so that I can feel good enough about me to do the things that I have always been scared to do: dance in public, flirt with that hot guy at the YMCA, buy that outrageous outfit, lay smack dab in the middle of the beach (not in that out of they way spot where hopefully no one will notice me), sing karaoke every chance I get...the list goes on.
Struggle Number 3: Spiritual "PIT"
Being raised in Kentucky means that I was raised in a church going home. We aren't Bible thumpers, but we are believers and we try to live our lives accordingly. I grew up in a Disciples of Christ church which is similar to Methodist. I grew up not judging other religions as long as they believed in Jesus Christ. It is a very liberal church...one that I have enjoyed, but there has been something missing. During the Fall of last year I started visiting a Singles Sunday school class at a local Baptist church. A good friend from high school is the Associate Pastor and had informed me of the class. That led to my staying for "big church"...yes I still call it that, Sunday night worship, and Wednesday night Bible studies. I am thoroughly enjoying learning the Bible more and delving into issues that I have wanted to know more about, but didn't have the guidance to do before. Will I switch memberships? Yet to be determined, but I am leaning toward yes. I feel at home in the church, I know many people who are members, I have met many great new friends, and that "something is missing" feeling is lessening all the time.
Struggle Number Four: being single
Figuring out that it is okay to be single is a tough acceptance. From the time you are small it is pounded into you that you need to be married to be happy. Do I believe this? Mostly. At least for me. All I have ever wanted was a husband and kids. It just hasn't been in the cards for me yet. Maybe it has nothing to do with me as a person, but more so with how I feel about me. Do I love myself enough to allow someone else to love me? Until I get more of my life figured out (in relation to the other struggles listed) I need to be content with being single. It isn't a condemnation...it simply is. One day, when the Lord is ready, I will find that special someone to go through life with. If my some day doesn't come, I need to know that God loves me and that should be enough...easier said than done.
Are these all my struggles? No, but they are the most pertinent ones. I hope that through reading this you find some peace in knowing that someone else feels the way you do. Someone else deals with what you deal with. Someone else is out there philosophizing over the same things you are. Feel free to email me or leave a comment...if I can help you, you'll probably be helping me at the same time :)
God Bless,
Tammy
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