Getting it right...is that really such an impossible feat? I was thinking about this all last night as I watched Glee. Yes, I watch Glee! It really does have some great lessons and wonderful music. The past few episodes have really had some thought provoking issues. One of which is one of the main characters feelings that she hasn't gotten anything right and wondering how/if she ever will.
I feel like this most days. As a child all I wanted to do what make my parents happy and I tried my hardest to appease everyone. That has not changed...ever. To my detriment I have remained the same. I haven't done this or that because it would make someone mad at me. I haven't tried to talk to a guy because someone else liked them or because I didn't think my friends would approve. I finished a degree I didn't really want and got a job in that field out of the overwhelming urge to do what was expected of me. More recently I have stayed in my current career for years longer than I should have because I didn't want anyone to think that I couldn't cut it. Sadly, I could have moved on to something that fulfilled me more if I had just not given a crap what others think of me.
As the possiblity for change comes about I am faced with making some difficult decisions about my future. Where to live, where to move my business, what career path to follow, how to be a better provider for myself, etc. The question that burns in my mind is this...HOW DO I GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME? There are many years left to live of my life and I know that they will continue to be full of changes, some good and some bad. However, I want to make the best decisions that will hopefully make for long-term contentment, happiness, and stability. No pressure there!
Being a grown up sucks sometimes. It would be wonderful if someone would just tell me what to do, how to do it, and what the outcome will be! That is the only true perk of being a kid, you don't have the worries that you do as an adult. It is a blessing that my decisions only effect me at present. Maybe that is why I haven't been blessed with a husband or kids yet...because I have figured out so many other things. Maybe God is waiting for me to catch up with him???
Good, bad, or ugly the future will come. With it will be the necessity to make decisions. Some thought out, some made on a whim, all effecting my life. All I can do is hold my breath and jump into the deep end hoping that I will eventually come up for air. Well, I don't have to hope too much as long as I have prayer and God on my side, but it would still be nice to know what outcome there will be :)
God Bless,
Tammy
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