Finding the right words...
Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do. Anytime you have to engage in a conversation that you know is going to upset someone you hope that the right words will come to you. You want to convey your concern, anger, agitation, hope, or advice in the best way possible so that they fully comprehend your meaning and motivation. This is most difficult, I feel, when the person you need to speak to is extremely close to you and you are concerned for them and for the choices they are making.
How do you get through to them without their feeling that you are being judgmental of their actions? Would I do the things they are doing? No, but my motivation is concern for how their actions have and will affect them in the near future and further down the line. When you see someone blatantly playing with fire and doing things that are completely out of character you become deeply concerned. Not solely about their actions, but the motivation for those actions. What deep seeded issue(s) are causing them to "act out"?
Perfect is not a word that has ever been used to describe me nor should it ever be. I do not have my life in order and may not ever, I have many issues in my own life that I don't know how to fix, and I am very discontented with many things. Does this lack of perfection exempt me from having helpful insight into someone else's issues? I hope not. I would hope that if any of my friends and/or family saw me spiraling down the wrong road that they (with their own imperfections and issues) found it in their hearts to try to help me get back on track.
That's what we do...we draw from our experiences and observations and use those to make the best decisions and give the best advice that we can. Will we always be right? No. Will we make incorrect assumptions? Probably. Should we steer clear of difficult situations because we haven't been in that person's shoes? I don't think so. Love is love and sometimes it is the hardest thing about being a human being. You have to love others enough to hurt their feelings and try to do what you think is best for them.
I sure hope that the right words come to me. I pray that God gives me the strength and fortitude to follow through with my friend that needs help right now. Most importantly, I hope that my concern is overwhelming apparent. I don't want them to feel judged or looked down upon. I only want them to feel love and to feel that there is hope in having someone give a crap about them...Lord, be with me.
God Bless,
Tammy
Just be sure that the friend WANTS help. I know for me, there have been times when I was out of control and spiraling downward that I did NOT want help. I knew I was on a self-destructive path and I didn't want to get off of it. I know that sounds strange, but I needed to hit my rock bottom myself. Sadly, I'm on a self-destructive path right now and I don't want help. I know I'm on the verge of getting out on control, but deep down, I don't care and I don't want anyone to try and "save" me from myself.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.