Most of us spend our childhoods yearning for the day that we would be grown-ups. We were in awe of what appeared to be freedoms that almost seemed unobtainable: driving, seeing R-rated movies without an adult, voting, college, having our own homes, and much more. What we were never told is what is feels like to have a dreaded "R" word lurking in the future...a REUNION!!!!
June 7, 1996 I graduated from Christian County High School. Ten years later we had our first class reunion. We went all out: big room at the Holiday Inn, DJ, food galore, decorations, the whole shebang. It was a lot of fun, but since I was into all the planning I didn't really have time to worry about appearances. Oh, I don't mean what my hair looked like or if I had changed that much. I mean the dreaded "what do they think of me now" appearance. You know what I mean..."can you believe she is still working at Wal-Mart" or "I really thought he/she would really be something by now". My favorites, "look at his receding hairline" and "wow, she still isnt' married!"
As my 15th reunion appoaches this summer my "appearance" is weighing more heavily on my mind. I am still part of the planning committee, but this year we aren't going all out. I don't know if it's wisdom with age or lack of spirit, but we just don't see a need for all the bells and whistles. I am grateful of that, but on the other hand that leaves me out in the open for people to really see me. I am still searching for those things I wanted at 18, a husband, a career I love, kids...all are still unobtained. Not that I define myself by what I do or don't have, but sometimes others do.
I suppose I am giving myself too much credit. There are probably only a handful of people who actually care one way or another where I am at right now in my life. I guess I put the most pressure on myself. There are certain milestones in life that you assume you will achieve by certain times. None of those I had in mind have come to fruition. Oh well, life goes on. There's nothing I can do about any of that in the next month and a half before the CCHS 15 year reunion rolls around. They'll just have to take me as I am and I will just have to be okay with that.
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