The entire U.S. is in the midst of season finale time on television. All the buzz is about the winners of American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and Survivor. People get all worked up about Bachelor/Bachelorette, Real Housewives, Jersey Shore, and countless other "Reality" shows. I, for one, am not a reality t.v. lover. I will admit that I watch the last few weeks of American Idol, but that is about it. It doesn't entice me all that much to watch other people live their lives. I like to focus on living my own!
We have all become so preoccupied with media that we no longer know what is real versus what is reality. Not one of those shows accurately portrays the lives of the people involved. We aren't there behind the scenes or in the editing room. Real life is not full of one-liners, cat fights, and an endless stream of barely clothed people strutting around. Real people have real issues like paying the bills not deciding upon what club to go to!
I know that reality television is an escape from our own realities...oh, the irony of that one. But, wouldn't it be great if we spent the time devoted to watching our "idiot boxes" (my mom's word for the tv) to spending time with loved ones, reading a good book, excercising, or growing ourselves spiritually. What if we looked at these reality shows as examples of how not to live our lives instead of making those lifestyles our goal?
Reality tv is not real...it won't pay the bills or make us better people. Occasionally we may learn something and we'll be entertained in the process, but are the lessons learned valuable ones? I feel that we would be better off sitting in silence. We could focus on what really matters like enjoying the company of friends and family, finding out what really interests us in life, mapping out goals for our future, or bettering ourselves in some way.
Reality isn't reality anymore...isn't it time we figured out what really is real in our lives, embrace it, and do our best to enjoy it and make ourselves better human beings? One of my favorite tv shows ended yesterday, "Oprah". Her parting words were those of encouragement to find out who we are and go for it! How awesome is that...figuring out who "you" are, not watching other people be "them"????
God Bless,
Tammy
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
5-18-2011...The Dreaded "R" Word
Most of us spend our childhoods yearning for the day that we would be grown-ups. We were in awe of what appeared to be freedoms that almost seemed unobtainable: driving, seeing R-rated movies without an adult, voting, college, having our own homes, and much more. What we were never told is what is feels like to have a dreaded "R" word lurking in the future...a REUNION!!!!
June 7, 1996 I graduated from Christian County High School. Ten years later we had our first class reunion. We went all out: big room at the Holiday Inn, DJ, food galore, decorations, the whole shebang. It was a lot of fun, but since I was into all the planning I didn't really have time to worry about appearances. Oh, I don't mean what my hair looked like or if I had changed that much. I mean the dreaded "what do they think of me now" appearance. You know what I mean..."can you believe she is still working at Wal-Mart" or "I really thought he/she would really be something by now". My favorites, "look at his receding hairline" and "wow, she still isnt' married!"
As my 15th reunion appoaches this summer my "appearance" is weighing more heavily on my mind. I am still part of the planning committee, but this year we aren't going all out. I don't know if it's wisdom with age or lack of spirit, but we just don't see a need for all the bells and whistles. I am grateful of that, but on the other hand that leaves me out in the open for people to really see me. I am still searching for those things I wanted at 18, a husband, a career I love, kids...all are still unobtained. Not that I define myself by what I do or don't have, but sometimes others do.
I suppose I am giving myself too much credit. There are probably only a handful of people who actually care one way or another where I am at right now in my life. I guess I put the most pressure on myself. There are certain milestones in life that you assume you will achieve by certain times. None of those I had in mind have come to fruition. Oh well, life goes on. There's nothing I can do about any of that in the next month and a half before the CCHS 15 year reunion rolls around. They'll just have to take me as I am and I will just have to be okay with that.
June 7, 1996 I graduated from Christian County High School. Ten years later we had our first class reunion. We went all out: big room at the Holiday Inn, DJ, food galore, decorations, the whole shebang. It was a lot of fun, but since I was into all the planning I didn't really have time to worry about appearances. Oh, I don't mean what my hair looked like or if I had changed that much. I mean the dreaded "what do they think of me now" appearance. You know what I mean..."can you believe she is still working at Wal-Mart" or "I really thought he/she would really be something by now". My favorites, "look at his receding hairline" and "wow, she still isnt' married!"
As my 15th reunion appoaches this summer my "appearance" is weighing more heavily on my mind. I am still part of the planning committee, but this year we aren't going all out. I don't know if it's wisdom with age or lack of spirit, but we just don't see a need for all the bells and whistles. I am grateful of that, but on the other hand that leaves me out in the open for people to really see me. I am still searching for those things I wanted at 18, a husband, a career I love, kids...all are still unobtained. Not that I define myself by what I do or don't have, but sometimes others do.
I suppose I am giving myself too much credit. There are probably only a handful of people who actually care one way or another where I am at right now in my life. I guess I put the most pressure on myself. There are certain milestones in life that you assume you will achieve by certain times. None of those I had in mind have come to fruition. Oh well, life goes on. There's nothing I can do about any of that in the next month and a half before the CCHS 15 year reunion rolls around. They'll just have to take me as I am and I will just have to be okay with that.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
5-4-2011...Accepting Change
The world is full of changes. Some occur on a daily basis such as our clothes, the day of the week, and our moods. Other changes happen over a period of time like the graying of our hair or our maturity. Often changes come unexpectedly and quickly like the loss of a loved one, a change in jobs, or crisis that completely throws us for a loop. The key to surviving any change is the acceptance of it.
We tend to feel as if we have complete and utter control of our lives which is absolutely ludicrous. The thought that we can make things happen in one way or another is only feasible with the smallest parts of our lives: what we wear, how we cut our hair, what we eat for dinner to name a few. Mostly though our lives are full of things we cannot bend to our every whim.
This is one of the hardest things to accept in life. We have to relinquish our perception of control. The key is becoming adept at rolling with the punches and making the best of the situations in our lives. Sometimes, we must admit defeat and move on when the opportunity presents itself. Well, admitting defeat can mean failure and that isn't the case. You haven't failed most of the time. Things just sometimes don't work out. It is imperative to embrace the belief that all experiences are for our growth...some will teach us positive lessons, others will remind us that we are not perfect.
When new opportunities are placed in your path I feel that if they are meant to be all the necessary components come together seamlessly. You have to pray hard for your intended path to be made clear and when it is lit up in front of you be willing to go for it. Though it may be scary, uncertain, and a shift from your "normal" if may very well be the blessing you've waited so long for.
Change can be slow, swift, expected, or world-altering. Change can be good or bad. Change can be sought out or thrust upon us. The only constant in change is that it will occur. Ready or not, here it comes. Be ready to deal with whatever may come. Trust yourself to make the right decisions. Mainly trust in the Lord to do what is best for you...
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
God Bless,
Tammy
We tend to feel as if we have complete and utter control of our lives which is absolutely ludicrous. The thought that we can make things happen in one way or another is only feasible with the smallest parts of our lives: what we wear, how we cut our hair, what we eat for dinner to name a few. Mostly though our lives are full of things we cannot bend to our every whim.
This is one of the hardest things to accept in life. We have to relinquish our perception of control. The key is becoming adept at rolling with the punches and making the best of the situations in our lives. Sometimes, we must admit defeat and move on when the opportunity presents itself. Well, admitting defeat can mean failure and that isn't the case. You haven't failed most of the time. Things just sometimes don't work out. It is imperative to embrace the belief that all experiences are for our growth...some will teach us positive lessons, others will remind us that we are not perfect.
When new opportunities are placed in your path I feel that if they are meant to be all the necessary components come together seamlessly. You have to pray hard for your intended path to be made clear and when it is lit up in front of you be willing to go for it. Though it may be scary, uncertain, and a shift from your "normal" if may very well be the blessing you've waited so long for.
Change can be slow, swift, expected, or world-altering. Change can be good or bad. Change can be sought out or thrust upon us. The only constant in change is that it will occur. Ready or not, here it comes. Be ready to deal with whatever may come. Trust yourself to make the right decisions. Mainly trust in the Lord to do what is best for you...
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
4-26-2011...Talk, talk, talk
One thing that no one will ever say about me is, "she sure is a wallflower who never speaks to anyone." Talking is one of my forte's. We have a long history together...the only time it has ever gotten me into trouble was at school. I wasn't a bad kid. I was actually one of the those teacher pleasing children (probably because my dad was an educator). The one and only thing to ever land me on the "wall" for 5 minutes during recess was my motor mouth. Honestly, it happened quite frequently...LOL.
My talking skills have made it easy for me to give speeches, teach, and most importantly meet new people. Ask anyone...give me 5 minutes and you'll more than likely know my entire life story! Some people may view this as a character flaw, but I see it like this: I never meet a stranger. Oh, I don't really tell everyone everything about me. I will talk to anyone though. Whether it be about religion, the weather, the state of public schools, or the newest movie I just saw I will freely engage in conversation with someone.
My talking skill has been a definite plus as I have dealt with the public for the past 6 1/2 years of running my business. I truly hope that anyone who walks through my front doors leaves feeling as if they made a new friend. I do my best to remember names and what our discussions are about. Not to ensure a return customer or a bigger sale the next time...I simply want people to know that they matter.
This twirling dirt clod we inhabit moves at such a great pace that we leave little time to actually get to know anyone. We are in such a hurry all the time and most people have their phones surgically attached to their bodies to ensure they stay in touch with email, itunes, facebook, and texting. What ever happened to sitting on the front porch with a glass of tea and talking the afternoon away? Maybe it's the Southerner in me (well, Mason Dixon Line for all technical purposes), but that is my idea of a great afternoon!
I wish that I could somehow pass along my skills to others. If we would all take the time to actually talk to each other a lot of issues would cease to exist in my opinion. How awesome would it be to sit across the table from your family and engage in conversation during a meal or take a long walk on a Friday night instead of rushing from work, to dinner, and to a movie where you sit next to someone for 2 hours and never utter a word. What if we unplugged our phones, turned off our cells, pressed the OFF button on our computers, and refrained from texting and actually, wait for it...talked with people face to face. Liberating idea isn't it!?!?
One day, I hope the world catches up with my way of thinking. I truly appreciate technology and living the American Dream, but not when they are to the detriment of mankind. We need to stop the rat race, talk to each other, and share our lives. I think we could all be happier individuals if we did :)
God Bless,
Tammy
My talking skills have made it easy for me to give speeches, teach, and most importantly meet new people. Ask anyone...give me 5 minutes and you'll more than likely know my entire life story! Some people may view this as a character flaw, but I see it like this: I never meet a stranger. Oh, I don't really tell everyone everything about me. I will talk to anyone though. Whether it be about religion, the weather, the state of public schools, or the newest movie I just saw I will freely engage in conversation with someone.
My talking skill has been a definite plus as I have dealt with the public for the past 6 1/2 years of running my business. I truly hope that anyone who walks through my front doors leaves feeling as if they made a new friend. I do my best to remember names and what our discussions are about. Not to ensure a return customer or a bigger sale the next time...I simply want people to know that they matter.
This twirling dirt clod we inhabit moves at such a great pace that we leave little time to actually get to know anyone. We are in such a hurry all the time and most people have their phones surgically attached to their bodies to ensure they stay in touch with email, itunes, facebook, and texting. What ever happened to sitting on the front porch with a glass of tea and talking the afternoon away? Maybe it's the Southerner in me (well, Mason Dixon Line for all technical purposes), but that is my idea of a great afternoon!
I wish that I could somehow pass along my skills to others. If we would all take the time to actually talk to each other a lot of issues would cease to exist in my opinion. How awesome would it be to sit across the table from your family and engage in conversation during a meal or take a long walk on a Friday night instead of rushing from work, to dinner, and to a movie where you sit next to someone for 2 hours and never utter a word. What if we unplugged our phones, turned off our cells, pressed the OFF button on our computers, and refrained from texting and actually, wait for it...talked with people face to face. Liberating idea isn't it!?!?
One day, I hope the world catches up with my way of thinking. I truly appreciate technology and living the American Dream, but not when they are to the detriment of mankind. We need to stop the rat race, talk to each other, and share our lives. I think we could all be happier individuals if we did :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Friday, April 22, 2011
4-22-11...Good Friday :)
Having grown up in a Disciples of Christ church we followed a rather extensive liturgical calendar. Advent, Pentecost, Lent, etc. Every possible religious holiday was observed such as Christmas, Palm Sunday, Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter, and so on. I will admit that until I was older I didn't understand a lot of those days...especially Good Friday. What exactly was good about Jesus being crucified on the cross???
Well, as I have grown older I have garnered understanding and appreciation for labeling the Friday before Easter as Good Friday. Actually, Great Friday may be an even better name for it! Although Jesus died that day, he died for us! What greater thing has ever been done??? God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to teach us and pay the ultimate price for us. That was absolutely a good day, however tragic the story may be.
To honor this sacrifice we should all be living the best lives we can. Following the Word of God. Doing our very best to live up to the price that was paid for us. It isn't easy though. Being human is such a let down at times especially when we screw up. Our hope lies in the love of our Father! A friend shared a song by Jason Crabb on Facebook the other day that sums up what being a Christian is all about. I absolutely love it...it is "Sometimes I Cry": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE0Gb28MF4c&feature=share
It is an absolutely beautifully written heartfelt wonderfully moving song! (I think I got enough adjectives in there...LOL) Sometimes we fall down, sometimes we cry, but each and every moment of the day we are held by our Lord and Savior...how awesome is that!?!? We are simply human beings doing the best we can to honor God, love one another, and be witnesses to the Word. That is what Good Friday is all about...God having faith in us. Faith that we are worth the sacrifice made for us.
God Bless,
Tammy
Well, as I have grown older I have garnered understanding and appreciation for labeling the Friday before Easter as Good Friday. Actually, Great Friday may be an even better name for it! Although Jesus died that day, he died for us! What greater thing has ever been done??? God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to teach us and pay the ultimate price for us. That was absolutely a good day, however tragic the story may be.
To honor this sacrifice we should all be living the best lives we can. Following the Word of God. Doing our very best to live up to the price that was paid for us. It isn't easy though. Being human is such a let down at times especially when we screw up. Our hope lies in the love of our Father! A friend shared a song by Jason Crabb on Facebook the other day that sums up what being a Christian is all about. I absolutely love it...it is "Sometimes I Cry": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE0Gb28MF4c&feature=share
It is an absolutely beautifully written heartfelt wonderfully moving song! (I think I got enough adjectives in there...LOL) Sometimes we fall down, sometimes we cry, but each and every moment of the day we are held by our Lord and Savior...how awesome is that!?!? We are simply human beings doing the best we can to honor God, love one another, and be witnesses to the Word. That is what Good Friday is all about...God having faith in us. Faith that we are worth the sacrifice made for us.
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
EXPECTATIONS
Most quarrels in life come down to one thing...someone fell short of your expectations or you of theirs. The entire argument could have been avoided had the expectations been made clear right up front. A simple conversation could keep a marriage from falling apart, put a stop to relatives bickering over only the Lord knows what, or something as simple as telling the waitress right up front to "please hold the pickles."
Expectations can be great, sometimes they must be lowered, but they must always be made known. This is the only fair thing to do as a human being. How can you fault someone for not doing what you expected them to if you do not tell them what you expect from them to begin with????????? Sounds confusing I know and you may even think it's trivial or a no-brainer. Well, you're wrong...sorry, but you are.
We fault people each and every day because they don't wear their hair a certain way, they don't walk the way you walk, they don't pray the way you pray, or they don't come visit you regularly. Well, do you visit them? Have you ever asked them over? Did you say to them, "please come visit me...I really need a friend right now?"
Tell people exactly what you expect from them. Keep in mind though, we all make mistakes. There isn't a single soul on this planet that is perfect. WE WILL MESS UP!!!! We won't do it maliciously. We'll try not to do it often, but it is going to happen. There is a 100% chance this is going to happen if we don't tell others what we expect from them.
So, before you go judging others around you and holding it against them that they screwed up royally think to yourself: did I tell them what I hoped they would do, did they do this to hurt me, is what they did or didn't do really all that bad, is being mad at them worth it???? Stop. Think. Calm down. Then speak. If we all took the time to do those things blood pressures would lower, friendships would stay on course, time wouldn't be wasted on resentment, and we may just find ourselves learning how to communicate with another like grown adults and not hot-headed 4 year olds who just had someone take our shovel in the sandbox.
God Bless,
Tammy
Expectations can be great, sometimes they must be lowered, but they must always be made known. This is the only fair thing to do as a human being. How can you fault someone for not doing what you expected them to if you do not tell them what you expect from them to begin with????????? Sounds confusing I know and you may even think it's trivial or a no-brainer. Well, you're wrong...sorry, but you are.
We fault people each and every day because they don't wear their hair a certain way, they don't walk the way you walk, they don't pray the way you pray, or they don't come visit you regularly. Well, do you visit them? Have you ever asked them over? Did you say to them, "please come visit me...I really need a friend right now?"
Tell people exactly what you expect from them. Keep in mind though, we all make mistakes. There isn't a single soul on this planet that is perfect. WE WILL MESS UP!!!! We won't do it maliciously. We'll try not to do it often, but it is going to happen. There is a 100% chance this is going to happen if we don't tell others what we expect from them.
So, before you go judging others around you and holding it against them that they screwed up royally think to yourself: did I tell them what I hoped they would do, did they do this to hurt me, is what they did or didn't do really all that bad, is being mad at them worth it???? Stop. Think. Calm down. Then speak. If we all took the time to do those things blood pressures would lower, friendships would stay on course, time wouldn't be wasted on resentment, and we may just find ourselves learning how to communicate with another like grown adults and not hot-headed 4 year olds who just had someone take our shovel in the sandbox.
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
4-11-11...Lots on my mind
It has been almost two weeks since I last submitted to the blog...those two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. There have sadly been more downs than ups, but I continue to trudge along. What other choice do you really have? You can't simply crawl under the nearest rock and hibernate indefinitely!
The smallest of things have kept my head above water: remembering that others have things worse than I do, the simple pleasures like ice cream with friends, and the unexpected and kind words of others. The last of these has made the biggest impact on my outlook on things. Those words helped me to know that even if I feel like I am falling short in life there are others who feel that I have greatly touched theirs. What a tremendous blessing!
My encounters have been varied: a longtime friend letting me know that I am special to them, another longtime friend reminding me of a time that I reached out with a letter during the loss of their child that they still have 8 years later and letting me know that they pray for me regularly to be blessed with a husband and children, a high school acquaintance that I became reacquainted with this Fall during a tumultuous time in their life who expressed gratitude for my being there as a sounding board and friend, and a random message from someone I wasn't close to at all in high school telling me they used to have a crush on me and would like to go to dinner sometime.
Each encounter was very different. A few touched my heart. All made me see that even when I feel like a phenomenal underachiever there are people out there whose lives I have touched. In all honesty I feel a bit bad for being down after getting their messages. So, I took their correspondence as a kick-start to "putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it."
I could choose to stay in my doldrums or I can reach out to others and put a smile on their face like these friends did for me.
I chose the later! I have spent the past week writing letters to some of my friends and loved ones. Most have simply been "Hi, how are you?" letters, but a few of them I dug a little deeper on. I am not the best person when it comes to the mushy, ooey-gooey of relationships with my friends. I am not accustomed to showing my affection especially through words. So, it has been a bit of a challenge to share my feelings, but I am glad that I have. You never know who needs a pick-me-up just as bad as you do.
So, if you think someone knows how you feel about them...quit assuming! You know what they say about that...pick up the phone, pick up a pen, send an email or text...share your feelings :) Your doing so will be an unexpected blessing to those whom you reach out to!
God Bless,
Tammy
The smallest of things have kept my head above water: remembering that others have things worse than I do, the simple pleasures like ice cream with friends, and the unexpected and kind words of others. The last of these has made the biggest impact on my outlook on things. Those words helped me to know that even if I feel like I am falling short in life there are others who feel that I have greatly touched theirs. What a tremendous blessing!
My encounters have been varied: a longtime friend letting me know that I am special to them, another longtime friend reminding me of a time that I reached out with a letter during the loss of their child that they still have 8 years later and letting me know that they pray for me regularly to be blessed with a husband and children, a high school acquaintance that I became reacquainted with this Fall during a tumultuous time in their life who expressed gratitude for my being there as a sounding board and friend, and a random message from someone I wasn't close to at all in high school telling me they used to have a crush on me and would like to go to dinner sometime.
Each encounter was very different. A few touched my heart. All made me see that even when I feel like a phenomenal underachiever there are people out there whose lives I have touched. In all honesty I feel a bit bad for being down after getting their messages. So, I took their correspondence as a kick-start to "putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it."
I could choose to stay in my doldrums or I can reach out to others and put a smile on their face like these friends did for me.
I chose the later! I have spent the past week writing letters to some of my friends and loved ones. Most have simply been "Hi, how are you?" letters, but a few of them I dug a little deeper on. I am not the best person when it comes to the mushy, ooey-gooey of relationships with my friends. I am not accustomed to showing my affection especially through words. So, it has been a bit of a challenge to share my feelings, but I am glad that I have. You never know who needs a pick-me-up just as bad as you do.
So, if you think someone knows how you feel about them...quit assuming! You know what they say about that...pick up the phone, pick up a pen, send an email or text...share your feelings :) Your doing so will be an unexpected blessing to those whom you reach out to!
God Bless,
Tammy
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
3-30-11 Loss=Gain
On Monday I had several friends lose parents. One to a tragedy, one to a short illness, and another to a long-term illness. All have the same effect...a loss that cannot be filled. A loss that will forever change their families. Their loss and those of others should be our gain in a strange way. We should take stock of our loved ones and truly appreciate what we have.
Loss is a part of every day life. Some of the losses we suffer are insignificant, others shake the foundation of who we are and will become. Oddly enough these losses actually have the capability of teaching us far more than if they had not occurred. We are forced to learn to deal with the fallout of a person passing away, the loss of jobs, the loss of friendships, or the loss of a dream we've held so dear.
How we choose to deal with or ignore the changes brought about by these losses defines who we are. Will you fall apart? Stand firm? Be the rock that others lean on? Take chances that you wouldn't have otherwise? Reevaluate your priorities? The possibilities are endless and have an endless number of answers. The true test is not in what the right answer is, but in how you deal with whatever answer you choose.
Dealing with life and all the various curve balls it throws at you defines who you are. It makes you contemplate your values, your aspirations, your strength, and your faith. You may have to reconsider all you ever thought your life was going to be. Sometimes, this isn't a bad scenario. Loss makes us who we are. It is our choice whether we get swallowed whole or stand firm in our foundation.
What will you choose???
God Bless,
Tammy
Loss is a part of every day life. Some of the losses we suffer are insignificant, others shake the foundation of who we are and will become. Oddly enough these losses actually have the capability of teaching us far more than if they had not occurred. We are forced to learn to deal with the fallout of a person passing away, the loss of jobs, the loss of friendships, or the loss of a dream we've held so dear.
How we choose to deal with or ignore the changes brought about by these losses defines who we are. Will you fall apart? Stand firm? Be the rock that others lean on? Take chances that you wouldn't have otherwise? Reevaluate your priorities? The possibilities are endless and have an endless number of answers. The true test is not in what the right answer is, but in how you deal with whatever answer you choose.
Dealing with life and all the various curve balls it throws at you defines who you are. It makes you contemplate your values, your aspirations, your strength, and your faith. You may have to reconsider all you ever thought your life was going to be. Sometimes, this isn't a bad scenario. Loss makes us who we are. It is our choice whether we get swallowed whole or stand firm in our foundation.
What will you choose???
God Bless,
Tammy
Monday, March 28, 2011
3-28-2011 Things that make you smile...
It is so easy to get lost in all of the things that go on in our lives to bring us down. Every day there is something that happens that could easily pull us down into a pit that will take us a long time to free ourselves from. For most of us, we don't have the luxury of wallowing in self pity, hurt, or despair. We have to pick ourselves up, dust our butts off, and move one foot in front of the other to whatever responsbility lays ahead. What we have to start doing is fully being aware of those little things that make us smile. We need to seek them out, pay them attention, give thanks for them, and find ways to do small things to make other people smile...I can guarantee that they need it as much as you do.
Every day I thank God for the many blessings that I have in my life. Every day I also pray for the things in my life that are causing me or the people I love unrest. What I don't always take the time to do is let these people know that I am praying for them. That is just as important as actually saying a prayer I believe. Last night I got an unexpected email from a friend saying that I had been on their mind the past week or so and that they had been praying for me. How awesome is that??? They felt compelled not only to be in prayer for me, but to let me know it. I can't tell you how much that lifted my heart!
Take the time to do those little things that make you and/or someone you love smile. In most cases it only takes a few minutes and it can make all the difference. Here are just a few things that make me smile that I know would do the same for others. Do you have some suggestions as well? Leave a comment.
* send a "snail mail" card to someone
* put a flower on your best freind's car while they are at work with a little note
* stop in to see a shut in relative or friend
* send a text to someone you haven't seen lately and let them know you are thinking of them
* make dinner for your parents/friends/siblings/etc.
* cut your neighbors grass
* pick your niece/nephew up and go to the park and play
* say hello to every stranger you meet today and give them a big smile :)
* buy the meal for the person in line behind you at McDonald's (or wherever)
The list could go on and on...whatever comes to mind, just do it...you'll get more than a smile out of it I know :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Every day I thank God for the many blessings that I have in my life. Every day I also pray for the things in my life that are causing me or the people I love unrest. What I don't always take the time to do is let these people know that I am praying for them. That is just as important as actually saying a prayer I believe. Last night I got an unexpected email from a friend saying that I had been on their mind the past week or so and that they had been praying for me. How awesome is that??? They felt compelled not only to be in prayer for me, but to let me know it. I can't tell you how much that lifted my heart!
Take the time to do those little things that make you and/or someone you love smile. In most cases it only takes a few minutes and it can make all the difference. Here are just a few things that make me smile that I know would do the same for others. Do you have some suggestions as well? Leave a comment.
* send a "snail mail" card to someone
* put a flower on your best freind's car while they are at work with a little note
* stop in to see a shut in relative or friend
* send a text to someone you haven't seen lately and let them know you are thinking of them
* make dinner for your parents/friends/siblings/etc.
* cut your neighbors grass
* pick your niece/nephew up and go to the park and play
* say hello to every stranger you meet today and give them a big smile :)
* buy the meal for the person in line behind you at McDonald's (or wherever)
The list could go on and on...whatever comes to mind, just do it...you'll get more than a smile out of it I know :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
3-22-11 SPEEDBUMPS
Which way should you turn when every direction seems to have a speed bump along the path? Speed bumps come in every shape and size. Some are so small you barely notice them. Others are so big that you feel as though you'll need an oxygen tank to reach the summit and begin your descent. Every one of them causes you a pause in your journey and more often than not plants a kernel of doubt deep in your mind.
So, how do you avoid these bumps in your life? You don't. When you look up the definition of life in the dictionary it reads: the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual *. Nowhere in the definition is the word EASY. Life just simply isn't supposed to be easy. Life is all about the living of it. Muddling through as best we can with the tools/skills that we have picked up along the way. The key to success is knowing when you are beaten and when you should ask for help. Whether by a loved one, a friend, or from the Almighty.
I don't know about you, but hitting a speed bump, literally or figuratively, whether it's anticipated or shows up unexpectedly is irritating. You are either wasting time as you slow down to manuver it or you are so jostled by it that you have to take a minute to get back on track. Both scenerios require the exertion of energy that could be better spent on something else. The trick is learning how to deal with them head on.
You don't have to keep pulling forward and backing up over them. You get the same result as if you were beating the proverbial dead horse. It won't do you any good to keep revisiting it. Slow down, speed up, go around it, hit it dead on...just deal with it and move on with your LIFE. The life that isn't easy and never will be, but it's the only one you have. It's up to you to make the most out of it.
Speed bumps, stop signs, caution lights, yield signs, and the like are all there for our safety. They are early warning signs of what is to come. How great would it be if our "life road" had these cautionery signs. Even better, what if there were exit signs that said, "Boyfriend #3, 2 miles ahead" or "Career path #1, 5 miles ahead, then left" or possibly even "Falling Rock ahead". How awesome would that be? Then maybe we could at least make sure our seatbelts are securely fastened and brace for impact!
Alas, that is not the case. We are simply and extraordinarily human. There's no Cliff's notes for our lives or "how to" manuals. All we have are our experiences and the good Lord to turn to in times of unrest or absolute need. So, prepare all you want for the speedbumps of life and you will still get jostled by them. Learning how to deal is the only choice we have.
God Bless,
Tammy
*taken from Miriam Webster online dictionary
So, how do you avoid these bumps in your life? You don't. When you look up the definition of life in the dictionary it reads: the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual *. Nowhere in the definition is the word EASY. Life just simply isn't supposed to be easy. Life is all about the living of it. Muddling through as best we can with the tools/skills that we have picked up along the way. The key to success is knowing when you are beaten and when you should ask for help. Whether by a loved one, a friend, or from the Almighty.
I don't know about you, but hitting a speed bump, literally or figuratively, whether it's anticipated or shows up unexpectedly is irritating. You are either wasting time as you slow down to manuver it or you are so jostled by it that you have to take a minute to get back on track. Both scenerios require the exertion of energy that could be better spent on something else. The trick is learning how to deal with them head on.
You don't have to keep pulling forward and backing up over them. You get the same result as if you were beating the proverbial dead horse. It won't do you any good to keep revisiting it. Slow down, speed up, go around it, hit it dead on...just deal with it and move on with your LIFE. The life that isn't easy and never will be, but it's the only one you have. It's up to you to make the most out of it.
Speed bumps, stop signs, caution lights, yield signs, and the like are all there for our safety. They are early warning signs of what is to come. How great would it be if our "life road" had these cautionery signs. Even better, what if there were exit signs that said, "Boyfriend #3, 2 miles ahead" or "Career path #1, 5 miles ahead, then left" or possibly even "Falling Rock ahead". How awesome would that be? Then maybe we could at least make sure our seatbelts are securely fastened and brace for impact!
Alas, that is not the case. We are simply and extraordinarily human. There's no Cliff's notes for our lives or "how to" manuals. All we have are our experiences and the good Lord to turn to in times of unrest or absolute need. So, prepare all you want for the speedbumps of life and you will still get jostled by them. Learning how to deal is the only choice we have.
God Bless,
Tammy
*taken from Miriam Webster online dictionary
Saturday, March 19, 2011
3-19-11
Finding the right words...
Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do. Anytime you have to engage in a conversation that you know is going to upset someone you hope that the right words will come to you. You want to convey your concern, anger, agitation, hope, or advice in the best way possible so that they fully comprehend your meaning and motivation. This is most difficult, I feel, when the person you need to speak to is extremely close to you and you are concerned for them and for the choices they are making.
How do you get through to them without their feeling that you are being judgmental of their actions? Would I do the things they are doing? No, but my motivation is concern for how their actions have and will affect them in the near future and further down the line. When you see someone blatantly playing with fire and doing things that are completely out of character you become deeply concerned. Not solely about their actions, but the motivation for those actions. What deep seeded issue(s) are causing them to "act out"?
Perfect is not a word that has ever been used to describe me nor should it ever be. I do not have my life in order and may not ever, I have many issues in my own life that I don't know how to fix, and I am very discontented with many things. Does this lack of perfection exempt me from having helpful insight into someone else's issues? I hope not. I would hope that if any of my friends and/or family saw me spiraling down the wrong road that they (with their own imperfections and issues) found it in their hearts to try to help me get back on track.
That's what we do...we draw from our experiences and observations and use those to make the best decisions and give the best advice that we can. Will we always be right? No. Will we make incorrect assumptions? Probably. Should we steer clear of difficult situations because we haven't been in that person's shoes? I don't think so. Love is love and sometimes it is the hardest thing about being a human being. You have to love others enough to hurt their feelings and try to do what you think is best for them.
I sure hope that the right words come to me. I pray that God gives me the strength and fortitude to follow through with my friend that needs help right now. Most importantly, I hope that my concern is overwhelming apparent. I don't want them to feel judged or looked down upon. I only want them to feel love and to feel that there is hope in having someone give a crap about them...Lord, be with me.
God Bless,
Tammy
Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do. Anytime you have to engage in a conversation that you know is going to upset someone you hope that the right words will come to you. You want to convey your concern, anger, agitation, hope, or advice in the best way possible so that they fully comprehend your meaning and motivation. This is most difficult, I feel, when the person you need to speak to is extremely close to you and you are concerned for them and for the choices they are making.
How do you get through to them without their feeling that you are being judgmental of their actions? Would I do the things they are doing? No, but my motivation is concern for how their actions have and will affect them in the near future and further down the line. When you see someone blatantly playing with fire and doing things that are completely out of character you become deeply concerned. Not solely about their actions, but the motivation for those actions. What deep seeded issue(s) are causing them to "act out"?
Perfect is not a word that has ever been used to describe me nor should it ever be. I do not have my life in order and may not ever, I have many issues in my own life that I don't know how to fix, and I am very discontented with many things. Does this lack of perfection exempt me from having helpful insight into someone else's issues? I hope not. I would hope that if any of my friends and/or family saw me spiraling down the wrong road that they (with their own imperfections and issues) found it in their hearts to try to help me get back on track.
That's what we do...we draw from our experiences and observations and use those to make the best decisions and give the best advice that we can. Will we always be right? No. Will we make incorrect assumptions? Probably. Should we steer clear of difficult situations because we haven't been in that person's shoes? I don't think so. Love is love and sometimes it is the hardest thing about being a human being. You have to love others enough to hurt their feelings and try to do what you think is best for them.
I sure hope that the right words come to me. I pray that God gives me the strength and fortitude to follow through with my friend that needs help right now. Most importantly, I hope that my concern is overwhelming apparent. I don't want them to feel judged or looked down upon. I only want them to feel love and to feel that there is hope in having someone give a crap about them...Lord, be with me.
God Bless,
Tammy
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
3-16-2011
Getting it right...is that really such an impossible feat? I was thinking about this all last night as I watched Glee. Yes, I watch Glee! It really does have some great lessons and wonderful music. The past few episodes have really had some thought provoking issues. One of which is one of the main characters feelings that she hasn't gotten anything right and wondering how/if she ever will.
I feel like this most days. As a child all I wanted to do what make my parents happy and I tried my hardest to appease everyone. That has not changed...ever. To my detriment I have remained the same. I haven't done this or that because it would make someone mad at me. I haven't tried to talk to a guy because someone else liked them or because I didn't think my friends would approve. I finished a degree I didn't really want and got a job in that field out of the overwhelming urge to do what was expected of me. More recently I have stayed in my current career for years longer than I should have because I didn't want anyone to think that I couldn't cut it. Sadly, I could have moved on to something that fulfilled me more if I had just not given a crap what others think of me.
As the possiblity for change comes about I am faced with making some difficult decisions about my future. Where to live, where to move my business, what career path to follow, how to be a better provider for myself, etc. The question that burns in my mind is this...HOW DO I GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME? There are many years left to live of my life and I know that they will continue to be full of changes, some good and some bad. However, I want to make the best decisions that will hopefully make for long-term contentment, happiness, and stability. No pressure there!
Being a grown up sucks sometimes. It would be wonderful if someone would just tell me what to do, how to do it, and what the outcome will be! That is the only true perk of being a kid, you don't have the worries that you do as an adult. It is a blessing that my decisions only effect me at present. Maybe that is why I haven't been blessed with a husband or kids yet...because I have figured out so many other things. Maybe God is waiting for me to catch up with him???
Good, bad, or ugly the future will come. With it will be the necessity to make decisions. Some thought out, some made on a whim, all effecting my life. All I can do is hold my breath and jump into the deep end hoping that I will eventually come up for air. Well, I don't have to hope too much as long as I have prayer and God on my side, but it would still be nice to know what outcome there will be :)
God Bless,
Tammy
I feel like this most days. As a child all I wanted to do what make my parents happy and I tried my hardest to appease everyone. That has not changed...ever. To my detriment I have remained the same. I haven't done this or that because it would make someone mad at me. I haven't tried to talk to a guy because someone else liked them or because I didn't think my friends would approve. I finished a degree I didn't really want and got a job in that field out of the overwhelming urge to do what was expected of me. More recently I have stayed in my current career for years longer than I should have because I didn't want anyone to think that I couldn't cut it. Sadly, I could have moved on to something that fulfilled me more if I had just not given a crap what others think of me.
As the possiblity for change comes about I am faced with making some difficult decisions about my future. Where to live, where to move my business, what career path to follow, how to be a better provider for myself, etc. The question that burns in my mind is this...HOW DO I GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME? There are many years left to live of my life and I know that they will continue to be full of changes, some good and some bad. However, I want to make the best decisions that will hopefully make for long-term contentment, happiness, and stability. No pressure there!
Being a grown up sucks sometimes. It would be wonderful if someone would just tell me what to do, how to do it, and what the outcome will be! That is the only true perk of being a kid, you don't have the worries that you do as an adult. It is a blessing that my decisions only effect me at present. Maybe that is why I haven't been blessed with a husband or kids yet...because I have figured out so many other things. Maybe God is waiting for me to catch up with him???
Good, bad, or ugly the future will come. With it will be the necessity to make decisions. Some thought out, some made on a whim, all effecting my life. All I can do is hold my breath and jump into the deep end hoping that I will eventually come up for air. Well, I don't have to hope too much as long as I have prayer and God on my side, but it would still be nice to know what outcome there will be :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
3-15-2011
Reading is one of my all-time favorite hobbies. I am easily transported from reality to the ranches of Texas, coastlines of North Carolina, the bayous of Louisiana, the streets of New York City, the woods of Georgia, the rolling hills and bluegrass of Kentucky, and everywhere else you can imagine. It is an escape from all that life throws at me. I have often considered the possibility of writing a book. Nothing complicated or even thought provoking...just a book that will allow someone the chance to get away from it all for a while and hopefully enjoy the read.
I absolutely love books. That is why you won't find a Kindle in my house. Who knows? Maybe one day I will cave in and buy one, but I don't think I will. There is nothing like holding a book, flipping the pages, and feeling the weight of it in your hands. Oh, and they smell good. Well, at least to me. Especially those that I pick up at our local second hand bookstore where they also used to sell pipe tobacco. Every book has that sweet tobacco fragrance embedded in every page. It brings back memories of going there with my grandparents when I was small. Plus, in today's economy it is a treat to be able to trade books :)
At the present moment, I am caught up with all of my favorite author's books. While I wait for the hardback copy of their new books to hit the shelves I am in need of some assistance. What good books have you read lately? What classics should I revisit? I am not a huge fan of historical romances or anything political. I would love to hear from anyone who has read something they really enjoyed. I look forward to your responses. In the meantime, I shall delve into the book that a friend gave me yesterday to read, Get A Life! It Is All About You.
God Bless,
Tammy
I absolutely love books. That is why you won't find a Kindle in my house. Who knows? Maybe one day I will cave in and buy one, but I don't think I will. There is nothing like holding a book, flipping the pages, and feeling the weight of it in your hands. Oh, and they smell good. Well, at least to me. Especially those that I pick up at our local second hand bookstore where they also used to sell pipe tobacco. Every book has that sweet tobacco fragrance embedded in every page. It brings back memories of going there with my grandparents when I was small. Plus, in today's economy it is a treat to be able to trade books :)
At the present moment, I am caught up with all of my favorite author's books. While I wait for the hardback copy of their new books to hit the shelves I am in need of some assistance. What good books have you read lately? What classics should I revisit? I am not a huge fan of historical romances or anything political. I would love to hear from anyone who has read something they really enjoyed. I look forward to your responses. In the meantime, I shall delve into the book that a friend gave me yesterday to read, Get A Life! It Is All About You.
God Bless,
Tammy
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
3-8-2011
This week I will be teaching my Sunday School class while the regular leader is out of town. The lesson is called "Choosing God's Forgiveness" and it focuses on Hebrews 12: 1-11. So far a few of the daily readings had these questions:
* What in your life is hindering you from following Christ in obedience?
* Would you say that your eyes are fixed on Jesus or on something else?
* What causes you to "grow weary and lose heart" the most in your life?
All of these are questions that I must admit I am reluctant to answer. Not because I am unsure of the answers, but just the opposite. I do know and I ashamed of the answers. I know that by putting my answers on paper or talking about them will be an admission of guilt. I am guilty of letting the world and its "treasures" come before my Lord. Who wants to openly admit that?
I realized that I was falling and deeper and deeper into a pit about 6 months ago. That is when I started actively seeking out somewhere to worship that I was happy with, a group of like-minded people to share Sunday School with, and I began a daily devotion to seek out God's Word. You can't know what you're doing wrong until you understand the guidelines.
I am actively working to get my eyes set on God now. However, it is hard to know when you are simply living your life and doing what is expected of you (by other earth dwellers aka people) and when you are straying from the Lord. I feel that I am back on track and I am anxious to see where I end up. Even with all the anticipation of the future I still have a few things that cause me "to grow weary and lose heart"...
These issues weigh on my mind daily and are things that I put a great deal of focus on. What to do? How to do it? Who to do it with? Etc, etc, etc. There's so much fear, unease, and lack of commitment to move forward. Most of the time, a forward move isn't in the picture because of other things that need to happen. You know...the old domino effect.
Some day I hope to have things straightened out. Some day I hope that my answers to the above questions will be NOT APPLICABLE. Seeing that I am a human being though I don't think that will occur anytime soon, but at least I am aware of the situation and am actively working on myself :) Sometimes, I think that is all we can do.
God Bless,
Tammy
* What in your life is hindering you from following Christ in obedience?
* Would you say that your eyes are fixed on Jesus or on something else?
* What causes you to "grow weary and lose heart" the most in your life?
All of these are questions that I must admit I am reluctant to answer. Not because I am unsure of the answers, but just the opposite. I do know and I ashamed of the answers. I know that by putting my answers on paper or talking about them will be an admission of guilt. I am guilty of letting the world and its "treasures" come before my Lord. Who wants to openly admit that?
I realized that I was falling and deeper and deeper into a pit about 6 months ago. That is when I started actively seeking out somewhere to worship that I was happy with, a group of like-minded people to share Sunday School with, and I began a daily devotion to seek out God's Word. You can't know what you're doing wrong until you understand the guidelines.
I am actively working to get my eyes set on God now. However, it is hard to know when you are simply living your life and doing what is expected of you (by other earth dwellers aka people) and when you are straying from the Lord. I feel that I am back on track and I am anxious to see where I end up. Even with all the anticipation of the future I still have a few things that cause me "to grow weary and lose heart"...
These issues weigh on my mind daily and are things that I put a great deal of focus on. What to do? How to do it? Who to do it with? Etc, etc, etc. There's so much fear, unease, and lack of commitment to move forward. Most of the time, a forward move isn't in the picture because of other things that need to happen. You know...the old domino effect.
Some day I hope to have things straightened out. Some day I hope that my answers to the above questions will be NOT APPLICABLE. Seeing that I am a human being though I don't think that will occur anytime soon, but at least I am aware of the situation and am actively working on myself :) Sometimes, I think that is all we can do.
God Bless,
Tammy
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
3-1-11
Good grief...March already? Time sure does fly the older you get. Before you know it we'll be hearing "Jingle Bells" as we walk through the mall. If only we could go back to when we were kids and soak up the lack of responsibility, ease of life, and the "I don't care" mentality. The following is a little list of my all-time favorite things from my childhood:
* playing outside from sun up to sundown...you know when we actually used our imaginations as we built forts, played in gravel, rode bikes, and swung until we were nauseous!
* the absolute perfection of a POP ICE on a hot summer day...you know the Popsicles that are basically koolaid in a tube :)
* playing arcade games at Hucky Finn's (my Hoptown friends will understand)!
* slumber parties...pj's, board games, NKOTB videos (New Kids on the Block, yes, they were around back then too!), all the pizza and sweets you could stand, "light as a feather", midnight walks around the neighborhood, etc
* scavenger hunts- a lost art form I feel...they were fun before we could drive, now they just are GREAT. I think I will have to plan a party that involves one soon :)
* field trips- there is just something cool about spending all day with your friends, having a good time, eating a ham sandwich, chips, an apple, and chocolate milk out of a brown bag!
* cartoons- back in the day we actually had really great cartoons, not this crap they have now...Transformers, Smurfs, Snorks, Gummi Bears, Looney Toons, Tom/Jerry, Care Bears, Jem, GI Joe, He-Man and Sheera...
The list could go on and on...being a kid is great! Well, at least it used to be. I don't know that the quality of life has progressed for kids. Now they spend their time with their nose in a game, texting, tweeting, and watching TV all the time (thanks Hannah Montana!). I suppose they are being overly prepared for adulthood since we seem to do a lot of the same minus Hannah Montana of course.
I think we should all slow it down and take in our world around us. There are so many wonderful, beautiful, and awe-inspiring things that we don't take the time to appreciate or don't have the time to even take a second glance at. I hope to reconnect with my inner child and start to look at life differently...I think we'd all be the better for it :)
God Bless,
Tammy
* playing outside from sun up to sundown...you know when we actually used our imaginations as we built forts, played in gravel, rode bikes, and swung until we were nauseous!
* the absolute perfection of a POP ICE on a hot summer day...you know the Popsicles that are basically koolaid in a tube :)
* playing arcade games at Hucky Finn's (my Hoptown friends will understand)!
* slumber parties...pj's, board games, NKOTB videos (New Kids on the Block, yes, they were around back then too!), all the pizza and sweets you could stand, "light as a feather", midnight walks around the neighborhood, etc
* scavenger hunts- a lost art form I feel...they were fun before we could drive, now they just are GREAT. I think I will have to plan a party that involves one soon :)
* field trips- there is just something cool about spending all day with your friends, having a good time, eating a ham sandwich, chips, an apple, and chocolate milk out of a brown bag!
* cartoons- back in the day we actually had really great cartoons, not this crap they have now...Transformers, Smurfs, Snorks, Gummi Bears, Looney Toons, Tom/Jerry, Care Bears, Jem, GI Joe, He-Man and Sheera...
The list could go on and on...being a kid is great! Well, at least it used to be. I don't know that the quality of life has progressed for kids. Now they spend their time with their nose in a game, texting, tweeting, and watching TV all the time (thanks Hannah Montana!). I suppose they are being overly prepared for adulthood since we seem to do a lot of the same minus Hannah Montana of course.
I think we should all slow it down and take in our world around us. There are so many wonderful, beautiful, and awe-inspiring things that we don't take the time to appreciate or don't have the time to even take a second glance at. I hope to reconnect with my inner child and start to look at life differently...I think we'd all be the better for it :)
God Bless,
Tammy
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
2-23-11
OK, so I give up on trying to remember to do this every single day. Some days I just don't have a lot to say and instead of writing gibberish I am going to focus on only writing when I feel I have something pertinent to share. I promise I am not being lazy because I really do enjoy my blog. Sometimes though there just isn't anything to be said.
Today, however, I want to share something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Finding true love. I don't mean love from parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, or friends. I mean that one true, everlasting, unconditional, butterflies in your belly kind of love. Though I thought I had found it a few years ago I was mistaken. I thought "praise God" I have waited so very long for this...now, my life's newest chapter will begin!
Well, here I am two years later and two years older...still hoping for that elusive love to find me. I know that my life's timeline is up to God and I do have faith in that, but the waiting can sometimes be unbearable. Thankfully I am a strong self reliant person who knows without a shadow of a doubt that I can thrive on my own. The thing is...I don't want to.
So many people say, "you're better off by yourself. You don't have all the crap to put up with that we do!". QUIT SAYING THAT...IT IS INFURIATING! I want the crap. Crap is a part of life, but it isn't your entire life. Most of us live pretty happy lives. Sure, the mundane tasks of day to day life wear away at you, but all you have to do is put a little "umph" back into your life. Change your routine. Get a new hobby. Reconnect with some old friends, etc.
When you are in a relationship, in all it's wonderfully crappy glory, you at least have someone by your side going through it with you. Imagine always watching that scary movie by yourself, learning how to cook for one and eating 3 days of leftovers when you misjudge a recipe, snuggling up with pillows and blankets all the time, not being able to go on shared vacations with your best friends/family who are married (well, and not feeling like a 3rd wheel), being out to dinner with a group and being asked "are you the only one on this check?"...yes I am, ALWAYS!
"Would I like some cheese with that whine???" No, I want someone to share my life with! It comes so easily for some. Why is it so hard for others of us? I know God has a plan for me and I am being patient, but that doesn't mean that I cannot question my singleness sometimes. Most of the time I am fine because I have a wonderful family and many friends who help fill the void of a missing significant other in my life. Sometimes though I simply want to not feel like there is something wrong with me because I am 33 and single.
Believe me, it isn't a choice I have made. However, I have made the choice not to settle and not to ignore my moral compass for the sake of having someone. It isn't that important. I want to be happy, fulfilled, and hopefully be married and good Lord willing have children. It is my biggest desire in life, but it doesn't dictate who I am. Being a good Christian, daughter, sister, aunt, sister-in-law, and friend are what define me. Hopefully, one day I can add wife and mother to that list...
God Bless,
Tammy
p.s.
If you know of any God fearing, loyal, funny,
kid loving, responsible, hard-working men...
send them my way or light a fire under them
to say hi, go for coffee with me, or whatever!
I know that someone for me is out there. I may
already have them in my life...we just haven't
made that next step...who knows!
Today, however, I want to share something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Finding true love. I don't mean love from parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, or friends. I mean that one true, everlasting, unconditional, butterflies in your belly kind of love. Though I thought I had found it a few years ago I was mistaken. I thought "praise God" I have waited so very long for this...now, my life's newest chapter will begin!
Well, here I am two years later and two years older...still hoping for that elusive love to find me. I know that my life's timeline is up to God and I do have faith in that, but the waiting can sometimes be unbearable. Thankfully I am a strong self reliant person who knows without a shadow of a doubt that I can thrive on my own. The thing is...I don't want to.
So many people say, "you're better off by yourself. You don't have all the crap to put up with that we do!". QUIT SAYING THAT...IT IS INFURIATING! I want the crap. Crap is a part of life, but it isn't your entire life. Most of us live pretty happy lives. Sure, the mundane tasks of day to day life wear away at you, but all you have to do is put a little "umph" back into your life. Change your routine. Get a new hobby. Reconnect with some old friends, etc.
When you are in a relationship, in all it's wonderfully crappy glory, you at least have someone by your side going through it with you. Imagine always watching that scary movie by yourself, learning how to cook for one and eating 3 days of leftovers when you misjudge a recipe, snuggling up with pillows and blankets all the time, not being able to go on shared vacations with your best friends/family who are married (well, and not feeling like a 3rd wheel), being out to dinner with a group and being asked "are you the only one on this check?"...yes I am, ALWAYS!
"Would I like some cheese with that whine???" No, I want someone to share my life with! It comes so easily for some. Why is it so hard for others of us? I know God has a plan for me and I am being patient, but that doesn't mean that I cannot question my singleness sometimes. Most of the time I am fine because I have a wonderful family and many friends who help fill the void of a missing significant other in my life. Sometimes though I simply want to not feel like there is something wrong with me because I am 33 and single.
Believe me, it isn't a choice I have made. However, I have made the choice not to settle and not to ignore my moral compass for the sake of having someone. It isn't that important. I want to be happy, fulfilled, and hopefully be married and good Lord willing have children. It is my biggest desire in life, but it doesn't dictate who I am. Being a good Christian, daughter, sister, aunt, sister-in-law, and friend are what define me. Hopefully, one day I can add wife and mother to that list...
God Bless,
Tammy
p.s.
If you know of any God fearing, loyal, funny,
kid loving, responsible, hard-working men...
send them my way or light a fire under them
to say hi, go for coffee with me, or whatever!
I know that someone for me is out there. I may
already have them in my life...we just haven't
made that next step...who knows!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Day 31- My Birthday
Happy 33rd Birthday to me! Wow, things sure haven't turned out like I anticipated. Not better, not worse...just different. Hopefully this next year will have some new and exciting adventures, new friends, hopefully a possible love, and more time with friends and family.
Some people are surprised when they ask how old I am and I automatically tell them. I guess any woman over the age of 25 is supposed to hate growing older. Believe me, I don't mind...the alternative is not what I want :) I am so thankful that I never have to do high school again! I have a few things (like my major) that I would change from college, but not much else for the most part. Of course, there are some decisions made since then that I would probably revisit, but all in all my life has been good!
Instead of viewing my birthday as an "Oh Crap...I haven't done ____________ yet!" I am trying to look at all of the positive things about my life so far. Also, there is much to look forward to! I don't know what lies ahead, but that is part of the intrigue of it all. So, here's to being 33 and looking forward to the coming year and all that follow. May they be full of love, hope, and joy!
God Bless,
Tammy
Some people are surprised when they ask how old I am and I automatically tell them. I guess any woman over the age of 25 is supposed to hate growing older. Believe me, I don't mind...the alternative is not what I want :) I am so thankful that I never have to do high school again! I have a few things (like my major) that I would change from college, but not much else for the most part. Of course, there are some decisions made since then that I would probably revisit, but all in all my life has been good!
Instead of viewing my birthday as an "Oh Crap...I haven't done ____________ yet!" I am trying to look at all of the positive things about my life so far. Also, there is much to look forward to! I don't know what lies ahead, but that is part of the intrigue of it all. So, here's to being 33 and looking forward to the coming year and all that follow. May they be full of love, hope, and joy!
God Bless,
Tammy
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Day 30
A random act brightened my day today. Customers have been in and out of the store all day long. I even had a guy come in, well, he'd been sent on a makeup mission. LOL Then, I had a younger lady come in who was "just window shopping". After a little chitchat and a quick discussion about how to, in the most ladylike fashion, get your dainties back to their original position (ladies, you know what I am talking about!) she headed for the door. As I opened it up for her to exit she unexpectedly gave me a hug and wished me a blessed day!
Isn't it amazing how something as trivial as a random hug can make you feel so much better. I don't know this person and she may very well never step foot in my shop again, but for today we were friends. Her simple gesture made my day. Have you ever had something like this happen to you? How did you react? How did it make you feel?
I think that we should all work a lot harder on committing these random acts of kindness. Buy coffee for the person behind you in line at Starbucks. Pump gas for the little old couple next time you're at the gas station. Take the mail and newspaper to your neighbor's door. You never know who may need a smile!
I got an extra hug today that led me to a smile...may you be as blessed!
Tammy
Isn't it amazing how something as trivial as a random hug can make you feel so much better. I don't know this person and she may very well never step foot in my shop again, but for today we were friends. Her simple gesture made my day. Have you ever had something like this happen to you? How did you react? How did it make you feel?
I think that we should all work a lot harder on committing these random acts of kindness. Buy coffee for the person behind you in line at Starbucks. Pump gas for the little old couple next time you're at the gas station. Take the mail and newspaper to your neighbor's door. You never know who may need a smile!
I got an extra hug today that led me to a smile...may you be as blessed!
Tammy
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Days 26-29 (Oops...I got a bit behind!)
Should have, would have, could have...the mantra for wallowing in self pity, denial, and depression! I should have done _______, then I would have _______, and I could have ____! You fill in the blanks. We all have circumstances that we wish we could go back and change. Unfortunately for us, H.G. Wells just wrote The Time Machine...he didn't event one.
Even if you could go back in time, should you? would you?
Life is about learning from the mistakes and inactions of the past to make our futures better. If we were able to fix everything we did or didn't do I am not sure we would ever truly learn anything. You have to be able to evaluate situations for what they are and make an educated guess as to what the new outcome may be. It may be better or it may be worse. That is called life!
There are too many times in my life that I have dwelled upon the shoulda, woulda, coulda's! Had I taken the energy spent wallowing in what didn't go a certain way I may have been able to figure out a way to make something better happen. We (humans) tend to get mucked down in the past. What we need to do is remember that our time on earth is short and we don't need to waste any time on unnecessary things. We need to be making the most of every single minute, hour, and day.
This has been overly evident the past few days. People live short, medium, and long lives. Every one of them leave behind people who love them and wish for just a little more time with them. Especially those gone to soon. I am struck by just how diverse the loss of the past few weeks has been: the one year anniversary of the loss of a 17 year old, the 30 year old mother of 3 who passed away unexpectedly, the 65 year old father of a friend, and the 84 year old gentlemen from church.
You never know when your name will be called...today, tomorrow, next week, next year, or 50 years from now. Please take the time to remember what is truly important in life and live it to its fullest. Put aside the should have, would have, could haves and focus on the what will be's of your life. I promise you'll be happier!
God Bless,
Tammy
Even if you could go back in time, should you? would you?
Life is about learning from the mistakes and inactions of the past to make our futures better. If we were able to fix everything we did or didn't do I am not sure we would ever truly learn anything. You have to be able to evaluate situations for what they are and make an educated guess as to what the new outcome may be. It may be better or it may be worse. That is called life!
There are too many times in my life that I have dwelled upon the shoulda, woulda, coulda's! Had I taken the energy spent wallowing in what didn't go a certain way I may have been able to figure out a way to make something better happen. We (humans) tend to get mucked down in the past. What we need to do is remember that our time on earth is short and we don't need to waste any time on unnecessary things. We need to be making the most of every single minute, hour, and day.
This has been overly evident the past few days. People live short, medium, and long lives. Every one of them leave behind people who love them and wish for just a little more time with them. Especially those gone to soon. I am struck by just how diverse the loss of the past few weeks has been: the one year anniversary of the loss of a 17 year old, the 30 year old mother of 3 who passed away unexpectedly, the 65 year old father of a friend, and the 84 year old gentlemen from church.
You never know when your name will be called...today, tomorrow, next week, next year, or 50 years from now. Please take the time to remember what is truly important in life and live it to its fullest. Put aside the should have, would have, could haves and focus on the what will be's of your life. I promise you'll be happier!
God Bless,
Tammy
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day 25
The Rose:
With Valentine's Day quickly approaching roses are a hot item. Nothing says "I love you" like a rose...supposedly. Now comes the big decision: red, pink, white, yellow, or some hybrid color. Each color has something that it represents, but honestly I don't care what color they are as long as I get one!
In my nearly 33 years on this spinning mound of dirt and water we call Earth I have never recieved flowers from any other man except my Daddy. Every year he goes out and gets anywere from 1 to 3 roses each for my Mama and I. He brings them to us a few days before Valentine's so that we can enjoy them longer. :)
I don't know if he realizes just how much they mean to me. To know that there is at least one man in my life that loves me unconditionally and cares enough to get me flowers is one of the best feelings in the world. In all my years and the few relationships I have had I have not been dating anyone on Valentine's Day. Each year I think...could this be the year? If I am not dating anyone the girl in me fantasizes about having flowers delivered from that guy that I really like and care for that probably doesn't even know I am alive. Hey, you have to believe in something!
One of these days I will have someone who sends me flowers for no reason at all. FYI...if it ever comes up, I don't have a flower preference and I love one bud as much as a bouquet :) It isn't about the quantity. It's about taking the time to let someone know that you care about them. Plus, flowers are beautiful and I hate the thought of ending their lives for a huge bouquet if one gets the job done.
Roses can perk up you, make you smile, bring a tear, and make great memories. I know I have many of those thanks to my Daddy. He is such a great guy and may possibly be why I am still single (LOL)...whomever I end up with is going to have a lot to live up to. I have had the best example of a real man my entire life in my dad. He is strong, hard working, loving, peaceful, kind, funny, loyal, and giving. I hope you have someone in your life who makes you feel just as loved. :)
God Bless,
Tammy
With Valentine's Day quickly approaching roses are a hot item. Nothing says "I love you" like a rose...supposedly. Now comes the big decision: red, pink, white, yellow, or some hybrid color. Each color has something that it represents, but honestly I don't care what color they are as long as I get one!
In my nearly 33 years on this spinning mound of dirt and water we call Earth I have never recieved flowers from any other man except my Daddy. Every year he goes out and gets anywere from 1 to 3 roses each for my Mama and I. He brings them to us a few days before Valentine's so that we can enjoy them longer. :)
I don't know if he realizes just how much they mean to me. To know that there is at least one man in my life that loves me unconditionally and cares enough to get me flowers is one of the best feelings in the world. In all my years and the few relationships I have had I have not been dating anyone on Valentine's Day. Each year I think...could this be the year? If I am not dating anyone the girl in me fantasizes about having flowers delivered from that guy that I really like and care for that probably doesn't even know I am alive. Hey, you have to believe in something!
One of these days I will have someone who sends me flowers for no reason at all. FYI...if it ever comes up, I don't have a flower preference and I love one bud as much as a bouquet :) It isn't about the quantity. It's about taking the time to let someone know that you care about them. Plus, flowers are beautiful and I hate the thought of ending their lives for a huge bouquet if one gets the job done.
Roses can perk up you, make you smile, bring a tear, and make great memories. I know I have many of those thanks to my Daddy. He is such a great guy and may possibly be why I am still single (LOL)...whomever I end up with is going to have a lot to live up to. I have had the best example of a real man my entire life in my dad. He is strong, hard working, loving, peaceful, kind, funny, loyal, and giving. I hope you have someone in your life who makes you feel just as loved. :)
God Bless,
Tammy
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